We continue to publish the conversations of Schema-Archimandrite Abraham, which he conducted with parishioners several years ago. Father Abraham is the confessor of the Holy Kosminskaya Hermitage and the Novo-Tikhvin Convent, whose sisters transcribed and prepared for publication these conversations. In this conversation, we will talk about what harm the passion of self-justification brings us and what correct self-reproach is.
We all love to make excuses. For example, people who are distinguished by an angry character are often rude to others, in response to a remark they can say: “I can’t help but get angry - my parents raised me poorly.” Or: “I have such a character, there’s nothing to be done about it.” Or even: “Who is rude? I?! This is not true, I always communicate with everyone very politely and cultured. It seems to us that our excuses are absolutely correct: if we sin, it is not our fault, it’s just people, character, upbringing, health, weather, and so on that interfere with us.
What does "self-justification" mean? Already in its structure, this word means behavior in which a person ascribes truth to himself, in other words, considers himself righteous. Theoretically, we all consider ourselves sinners, we repent at confession once a month or more often. But when it comes to concrete cases, we justify ourselves: in this case I am not to blame, in this respect I behave correctly ... If we add up all these countless cases, it turns out to our surprise and shame that we only call ourselves sinners, but in fact we consider ourselves righteous. Naturally, thinking about ourselves in this way, we at the same time humiliate those around us, believing that they are to blame for everything, they tempt us, make us sin.
But the path of self-justification is a vicious, disastrous path. What does it lead to? Either to the fact that a person, refusing to see his sins, becomes spiritually dumb and does not at all try to live according to the commandments, or tries to change the circumstances that “prevent” him from fulfilling the Gospel. Then he develops an absurd, completely un-Christian activity, directing all his efforts not at himself, but at what surrounds him, most often at people. But each person is a completely free being, and at best we can only slightly influence him, and if he himself does not want it, no one has the power to change him. Therefore, often those who make such attempts see their futility and fall into despair.
According to the teaching of the Holy Fathers, one of the most essential virtues for salvation is self-reproach. I do not mean that simple, even primitive manifestation of self-reproach, in which we insult ourselves in our souls, hurt, humiliate ourselves with some words. By self-reproach, one must understand something deeper - such an arrangement of the soul in which a person sees his own fault in everything and does not blame the external. If a person always sees his guilt, if he does not blame anyone for having sinned, then, logically, he will begin to look for means to change himself. A person who has acquired the skill of self-reproach comes to terms with the fact that his neighbor is not the way he would like him to be, and shows love for every person, regardless of whether he is good or evil, friend or foe. He does not justify himself by the fact that he was brought up badly, because he knows that he is free and, if he wanted to, would behave differently, choosing the good and rejecting what he was wrongly taught in childhood, for example, at school. He will not refer to the fact that his friends are tempting him, but will either move away from them, or, in spite of their seductive behavior, try to change himself on his own. And he will not pay attention to everything else that is external in relation to the free will of a person, knowing that it is only his fault that he deviated towards evil with his free will. Nothing can force a person to do evil if he does not want to, especially when it comes to Christians - people whom the Lord Jesus Christ freed by His sufferings on the Cross and through the sacraments made not subject to sin. Since Christ's coming a person sins already completely voluntarily, and not under the onslaught of circumstances, as it was (and to some extent could be justified) before the coming of Christ.
Two ways of thinking, two states of mind - self-justification and self-reproach - are depicted in the Gospel, although they are not called there with precisely these words - the terms of ascetic literature with which we are accustomed to operate.
Consider the well-known parable of the publican and the Pharisee, which is dedicated to one of the Sundays before Great Lent - the Week of the Publican and the Pharisee. Two people enter the church to pray: one is a Pharisee, and the other is a publican. Having become a Pharisee, praying in himself: God, I give You praise, as if I were like other people, predators, unrighteous, adulterers, or like this publican: I fast twice on Saturday, I give tithes of everything I will attract. This man justified himself and did not see his sins. Such self-justification (to use ascetic terms) removed him from God. Further in the Gospel it says: The publican stood afar off, not wanting to raise his eyes to heaven, but beating his own, saying: God, be merciful to me a sinner. I say to you, as if this one were justified in his house more than onago: as if everyone ascends, he will humble himself, he who humbles himself will ascend. It turns out that the one who justifies himself rises up, the one who reproaches himself humbles himself.
What do the words of the publican mean: God, be merciful to me, a sinner? Or the words of the Jesus Prayer (essentially the same): “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner”? A sinner is one who is morally guilty. Thus, while saying the Jesus Prayer, we constantly reproach ourselves before God: “Forgive me, guilty of violating the moral commandments.” So we say, but do we feel it? Do we delve into the meaning of these words, does our heart participate in their pronunciation or does it remain cold? Or, perhaps, pronouncing the words of the publican: God, be merciful to me, a sinner, we actually reason like a Pharisee: “Thank you, Lord, that I am not like other people, and I lead a spiritual life, I confess, I pray a prayer Jesus"? We pronounce words of repentance and self-reproach, but our thoughts are pharisaical, interfering with real, attentive, sincere prayer. We justify ourselves both to ourselves and to other people, because such a mood cannot but break out. Sometimes we humble ourselves for show, because we know that in a certain society, in a monastery or in a Christian environment in general, humility is approved and revered as something significant. And the publican said only one word about himself - “sinner”, and if a person says this sincerely, from the bottom of his heart, then he has acquired the virtue of self-reproach.
When a person always and everywhere considers himself a sinner, this manifests itself in any everyday situation. We justify ourselves in every conflict, and he says: “Yes, I am guilty, I have sinned.” Saint Tikhon of Zadonsk once, in a conversation with a certain free-thinking nobleman, began to prove that he was wrong about God. And the nobleman, flaring up, gave Saint Tikhon a slap in the face. Then the saint made a prostration before him and said: "Forgive me for God's sake, that I offended you." This had such an effect on this indignant man that he himself fell at the feet of the saint and asked for his forgiveness, and later became a good Christian. It would seem that St. Tikhon was not to blame for anything in this case, but, as a humble person and a true Christian, he saw his guilt here too. If we sincerely considered ourselves sinners, if we sincerely uttered the words of the Jesus Prayer: “Have mercy on me, a sinner,” then in any situation we would find fault in ourselves, and not in the people around us, things, circumstances, condition, and so on.
Very often we justify ourselves by preferring the so-called demands of common sense to the gospel commandments and the dictates of our conscience. But it must be said that “common sense” (not true, of course, but the one used by the world) changes over the years, and even more so with the change of eras. One "common sense" was among the pagans of antiquity, the other - among the lukewarm Christians of the times of the domination of Christianity in the civilized world, the third - among modern materialists and atheists, the fourth - among the Mohammedans, the fifth - among the Buddhists ... But all these various "common senses" are unanimous rebel against Christian morality. Sometimes this can be seen very clearly - the struggle takes place between people: some defend the position of the Church and Church Tradition, others are hostile to it, for example, from the standpoint of atheism or worldly materialism, which is expressed in the fact that a person does not particularly think about spiritual truths and bakes only about my material well-being. In these cases, things are easier. But, unfortunately, it often happens that we ourselves, Orthodox Christians, take into ourselves something from the world and hold on to this imaginary common sense, without noticing or understanding it ourselves. Then the struggle between worldly "common sense" and the truth of Christianity takes place within us. Unfortunately, it often ends in the victory of this "common sense": we yield to it and trample on our Christian conscience.
When we follow ostensible common sense, we also manifest self-justification. Violating something from the Gospel teaching and Orthodox Tradition, we justify ourselves by the fact that common sense tells us to do just that: to show piety or cowardice, or some other passion, in order not to suffer harm or some kind of sorrow. Justifying ourselves with “common sense,” we constantly and therefore arrogantly, boldly, defiantly depart from the gospel teaching. We must be aware that we are acting sinfully, for example, out of fear, and ask the Lord for forgiveness.
Within ourselves we have both the publican and the Pharisee. The publican reproaches himself, the Pharisee justifies. One and the same person repents in an instant - and becomes a publican, and after a few minutes justifies himself - and turns into a Pharisee. If we become negligent in this struggle, if we incline towards self-justification, then, like the Pharisees and lawyers, we will move away from Christ and be deprived of Divine grace. We will not receive help in keeping the commandments, and we will remain barren.
Father, how can you reproach yourself in the case when you have done the deed, done everything necessary, but the deed did not work out? And you wonder: why, because everything is done well?
Perhaps God does not want this work to be done. Everything is the will of God. Probably, in such a case it is appropriate not to reproach oneself, but simply to humble oneself, to surrender to the will of God. If I spoke about rooting, this does not mean that you need to reproach yourself everywhere and everywhere, where you need and where you don’t need. To have self-reproach means to see one's guilt precisely in the violation of the commandments.
When I pray, my loved ones laugh and mock me. Because of this, I often leave the prayer so as not to annoy them. Is this self-justification or am I acting right?
When we are surrounded by people who do not understand this, it is appropriate to recall the gospel words of the Savior: Do not give the saint to the dogs, nor mark your pearls before swine, so that they will not trample them with their feet and turn around and tear you apart. We must not behave in such a way as to cause blasphemy. It is better for us to pray in another place, to hide our prayer, not because we are ashamed, but in order not to give rise to blasphemy.
Besides, if we pray and are laughed at, what kind of prayer is that? If it is not possible to pray openly, then it is better to pray in church or on the road. If it is not possible to read from the prayer book, because loved ones scoff and blaspheme, then it is better to read the Jesus Prayer to yourself for a while or some other prayer that we know by heart. Some memorize morning and evening prayers.
In general, it is better to avoid such people if possible. If my friend constantly blasphemes my most sacred feelings, then why do I need such a friend? This means that he does not understand me, does not appreciate me, despises me in my deepest manifestations.
Self-reproach is difficult to maintain. First of all, you need to pray. The Jesus Prayer itself, in a sense, is self-reproach and forcing oneself to humility. If we say constantly during the day: “Have mercy on me, a sinner” or “sinner,” then in this way we force ourselves to remember our sinfulness, accustom ourselves to a humble opinion of ourselves. But most importantly, we need to remember that self-reproach, repentance is a spiritual fruit, it is an act of grace. If there is no grace, then no matter how we refine ourselves, no matter what we say to ourselves, no matter how we persuade ourselves, there will be no sincere self-reproach. That is, most of all, you need to rely on God and therefore pray unceasingly.
For one of my friends in life, everything somehow does not stick, nothing works out, constant temptations and misfortunes. She thinks she's been corrupted. Could it really be?
Witchcraft, of course, exists, this cannot be denied. In our terrible time, the doctrine of black and white magic is spreading, books are sold completely freely - everyone can buy Black Magic.
To be honest, I don't really understand this. I cannot distinguish spoilage from an ordinary illness, except for obvious cases of demonic possession. To do this, you need to go to the spiritual elders and ask them. But very often people who want to blame everything on others talk about damage. To dump from a sick head on a healthy one. A person does not think that he has sins, that he prays badly, confesses badly, takes communion unworthily. He does not want to see his fault in anything, but writes everything off as damage. "Why do you pray badly?" - "I've been spoiled." "Why don't you fast?" - "I'm bewitched." "Why do you smoke?" - "Jinxed me!" So you look - well, they bewitched a person, he is not to blame for anything.
And in order to determine that this is damage, one must first show diligence in spiritually, and then it will be revealed whether an extraneous force is acting or whether it was just our negligence. In addition, damage can be expelled by one's own efforts, that is, by prayer, fasting or confession, communion. We must resort to the most common church means. First of all, to the sacraments, prayers. The Church gives us all means, very powerful ones, if only we use them ourselves.
"Orthodoxy and the World" / Schema-Archimandrite Abraham (Reidman)
Despondency is a passion that is familiar to everyone. It manifests itself in different ways, often hiding behind some kind of decent appearance, and therefore it can be difficult to distinguish. But you need to be able to distinguish it, because this passion is insidious and very dangerous. She, as the Monk John of the Ladder says, is an all-striking death. What is despondency? It manifests itself in two forms - sometimes as unbearable boredom, melancholy, and sometimes as laziness and indifference to spiritual pursuits. In the latter case, a person may outwardly not have a dull look at all, on the contrary, he can have fun, joke and treat everything with some kind of liveliness. To everything - except for reading the Holy Scriptures, prayer and other spiritual activities.
People who do not believe due to emptiness in the soul are often in a state of extreme despondency. I think that most cases of so-called depression are precisely despondency in the extreme. Let me tell you a story from my youth. One person I knew intimately had a father who committed suicide. And this young man fell into a state of depression - to such an extent that for weeks he lay face to the wall, and he did not need anything. His mother was an unbeliever, had an average Teacher Education and therefore believed that she knew everything. And she drove him even more with her moralizing. It ended up that their neighbor, a believing grandmother, took pity on this guy and persuaded him to go to church. He began to go to the temple. He understood little, observed little, but went from time to time. He immediately felt much better. Then he got acquainted with our company, got involved in it, and since we tried to lead a Christian life, more or less strictly observe fasts, he also began to behave in the same way. It became even easier for him. Then, when we told him about the Jesus Prayer, about how to deal with passions and, in particular, with despondency, he began to watch his soul, pray, and completely gave up all medicines, and became a normal person. True, he had to lie to doctors. They asked him: “Well, how?”, He said: “Nothing.” "Are you on medication?" - "I drink, it helps a lot." If he had said that he did not drink, they might have put him in the hospital by force - there was such a time. In fact, he didn't take anything. Here is an example of the fact that depression is just a state of mind of a person, despondency from the fact that there is no God in the soul.
This condition is common to many people. Moreover, we see around us people who are not only in despondency, but in the deepest despair. One famous ascetic of our time, Schema-Archimandrite Sophrony (Sakharov), said that modern disbelief is a consequence of despair, all of humanity has fallen into despair. That is, people feel such hopelessness, they are so desperate for their salvation, that they already deny the existence of God in order to be able to live in peace. But the melancholy from this only intensifies, and the person tries to drown it out with something. For example, he begins to drink and tries in this rude way to find some kind of peace of mind. A more refined way to drown out inner longing is a person's desire to enjoy works of art, to some kind of abstract activity.
But, of course, it would be wrong to say that a believing person does not experience despondency. It happens, and very often. Now I will not talk about despondency as a heavy battle instigated by demons, but I will talk about the type of despondency that occurs most often - about laziness. So called despondency Reverend Gregory Sinai. When he lists the main passions, instead of the word "despondency" he says "laziness". This is the same laziness, only in relation to spiritual and moral subjects. I don’t want to go to church, I don’t want to pray, read Holy Bible and generally work on your soul. Why? Because we see how many passions are in our soul and how much needs to be done to purify it. As it happens in life: you come, you see that you need to chop a huge pile of firewood, and you immediately think: “Yes, well! Maybe we’ll endure it somehow, we’ll freeze, we’ll wrap ourselves in a sheepskin coat, we’ll hide ourselves with a blanket ... ”There is such a good example in Otechnik. The father sent his son to till the field. He came, saw that it was all overgrown with weeds, became discouraged and went to bed; then he got up, looked at the field, and went back to sleep. He did this for several days. When the father came and asked why he had not done anything until now, he replied that he had fallen into despondency because there was a lot of work, and therefore he slept. Then his father told him that if every day he cleared at least the area that he occupies during sleep, then the matter would have already advanced. The son got to work and God help gradually cleared up.
This is familiar to everyone. When there is a lot of work, a person gets scared, gives up and begins to think that “you can’t redo all the work anyway.” This quality of ours, which manifests itself in ordinary human affairs and occupations, makes itself felt in our spiritual life as well. Something is not given to us - and we immediately quit: “I can’t immediately pray like Elijah the prophet, through whose prayer it began to rain, then I won’t at all.” Or: “I have been striving for three whole days, but I still do not have unceasing prayer - what is it?” Or: “I have been going to church every Sunday for three years already, but I still don’t have dispassion - how can it be?”
It seems to us that our despondency has an excuse: “I can’t do it.” But that's really just an excuse. After all, if a person has failures in some everyday affairs, then what does he do? So he wanted to go to college, but he did not prepare and could not pass, say, chemistry. What does he start to do if he still wants to study at this institute? Hires tutors, carefully prepares, teaches chemistry. IN next year he manages to pass the exam - and he goes to college. Nobody is surprised by this. Everything is fine. It is the same in the spiritual life: when a person wants to acquire some virtue and for some reason fails, he must also draw a conclusion about why this happened and in what respect he needs to improve. Suppose he does everything right, but gives in to pride. Therefore, he needs to pay attention to the fight against it. Or: he does everything right, but does not have sufficient zeal for prayer, he prays distractedly. So he needs to force himself to pray. And we do not want to draw such simple, elementary conclusions that we would have made in an ordinary situation without any extraneous prompting. And we begin to lose heart instead of starting to work. It didn’t work out the first time - it will work out the second, the third, but it will definitely work out. Even this struggle itself, the very forcing oneself to correct oneself in one way or another, already brings grace into a person's soul.
How to deal with despondency? This can be done in different ways. For some, it even helps at times to have a good meal. But if you fight only in this way and do not use any more, then maybe there will be no despondency, but everything else will be. Reverend John Ladder advises sometimes to use this trick in the fight against anger. He says: "When anger is fighting you, you can give some small consolation to the womb." But it’s good if it’s small, otherwise sometimes a person will be so comforted - to self-forgetfulness! Of course, this is unreasonable. It is permissible to use another trick: to somehow joke. A priest can joke in time and with an innocent joke put a person in a cheerful mood. Let it not be a spiritual joy, but it is still better than despondency. But this, again, is a trick - a small one, not decisively solving the issue.
And if you take the problem seriously, then, of course, the best remedy for despondency is prayer, especially the Jesus Prayer. In addition, during despondency, one should try with all his might to do everything as usual, that is, not to give up his usual activities, not to leave prayer rule, force yourself to pray intensely, with attention. The memory of death also helps a lot in this battle. It seems strange: a person remembers death - and he loses his despondency. On the contrary, one should be discouraged. However, it is not. It's the memory of death, oh future life cuts a person off. When he begins to think about eternity, he realizes that against this background, all earthly sorrows are insignificant - not only minor ones, but also serious ones: a severe battle with this or that type of sin or a dangerous illness, one’s own or loved ones. Thanks to the memory of a mortal, everything appears in a different light, namely, in its true light. A person sobers up and understands that in reality everything that brings him to a state of despondency, disarms him is a mirage and that there is no need to attach importance to all this.
The main thing in the fight against despondency is self-compulsion. If we do not force ourselves, then no advice, no miraculous power or supernatural help from above will help us. We must understand that we are free beings and much depends on our own choice. The Lord is always ready to help us, we can say that He has already rushed to help us, but we neglect this help. We do not notice it because we plunge into the darkness of despondency to such an extent that we do not even want to respond a little to this Divine action, which strengthens us in the struggle. It happens that a person will not even do anything, but will simply endure despondency and will not leave his usual work or attendance of divine services - and the grace of God immediately comforts his heart, he feels that the Lord is with him.
The opposite of laziness, as you know, hard work. This is where you need to acquire spiritual industriousness. Labor is, as they say, difficult. We may not want to do something, but we know that it is necessary, and we do it, overcoming fatigue, and sometimes pain. Work is driven by necessity - not all of us do it with pleasure - and for the most part it brings consolation only when we have already completed the work and see its result. Even embarking on some business with pleasure, we still involuntarily encounter difficulties and there is a desire to quit it. But imagine a surgeon doing an operation, and it dragged on, it’s been going on for three whole hours, and he throws a scalpel: “Let someone else sew it up, but I’m tired, you’re standing here, already sweating all over.” What will happen then?
Laziness in any worldly matter is, of course, bad for the soul of a person, but laziness in a spiritual sense is much more terrible. If the Lord, perhaps, still descends to the lazy in work and has mercy on him, then for the lazy in prayer, struggle with thoughts, passions, there is no way out. One should not think that the struggle for one's salvation is such an easy and simple thing that there should be no obstacles in it. The Kingdom of Heaven is in need. This compulsion is necessary throughout life, and not in such a way that now you understand everything, you work for three days, and then you get bored: they say, everything is fine anyway. A person develops and, having changed for the better in some way, sometimes he has to force himself again and again to achieve greater virtues. Thus, he steadily moves towards eternal life, sometimes achieving the most exalted spiritual results, the most beautiful and, as it seemed to him before, elusive virtues.
Question. Father, I can’t get better at all, and I’m very discouraged by this. It seems that it is impossible not to lose heart. After all, for myself and for others, it is obvious that I remain as passionate as before. This makes me want to cry. How not to succumb to despondency, and in general, how to relate to the fact that you want to cry?
Answer. You can cry in different ways. If a person realizes his spiritual weakness, his distance from God, then perhaps this is not entirely despondency. It is necessary to cry about our God-forsakenness, or rather, about the fact that we ourselves have left God. Cry, repent and pray. It's good that there is sadness about it. When a person comes to terms with his miserable state of mind, stops all struggle, this is bad. But what is the difference between penitent crying and despondency? When a person is sad about his sins, he wants to do something to correct himself. If he feels powerless, he starts with more zeal, more attentively, or just more time to pray. And despondency says to a person: everything is useless, nothing will work out for you, you were just born such a worthless person, you have such a nature. Of course, such thoughts cannot be trusted. It is necessary to lament about your spiritual emptiness, but in no case should you succumb to despondency and fall into hopelessness.
How not to succumb to despondency? Don't take it at all. We must remember that temptations are always covered by the appearance of credibility. And despondency also takes an occasion from the actual state of affairs. It can be based on some of our failures, vices that depress us, and tell us: “You really can’t do anything, you don’t know how to pray attentively, you can’t overcome anger, you are lazy.” We succumb to this suggestion and completely submit to the passion of despondency. A dispassionate person would see that the plausibility of these thoughts is imaginary, superficial. But we are not impassive, and therefore it is better for us not to see this very truth at all, than, having seen it, to be tempted.
This is how we should treat all temptations, whether it be despondency or anything else. I will give such an example, I just want to warn you that it should not be taken literally in a bad sense of the word. One ascetic went to the river to draw water and, due to demonic obsession, fell into carnal sin with a woman whom he met there. In order not to succumb to despondency, he sang psalms on the way back and prayed. The devil tempted him with thoughts that he was dead, everything was lost, his many years of exploits were in vain, and he behaved as if nothing had happened. Finally the demon appeared to him visibly and says: “Why are you behaving like that, have you fallen into mortal sin?” And he says: "There was nothing of this." And he went to his cell, asceticised in the same way, and through repentance and ascetic labors he obtained forgiveness of sins.
Another similar case. Two hermits, by satanic obsession, conspired among themselves, came to the city, sold their needlework and squandered the proceeds. All night they fornicated and drank. After that, one of them says: “Everything is lost, I died, I had grace, supernatural gifts, now all this has left me, there is no salvation for me.” And the other prays, sings psalms, stays in a joyful state of mind. The first one asks him: “Why are you behaving like that? Don't you remember what you drank?" And he replies: “Yes, we were with the bishop, and he honored us, gave us wine.” The first one says: “Which bishop, why are you delirious? Who did you kiss, do you remember?" He answers: “Yes, the bishop honored us with his hierarchal kiss.” Then the hermit said to him: “Yes, you are mad with sin!” And beat him. They came back to the desert, and the one who said that he had kissed the bishop continued to pray as if nothing had happened. The first hermit fell into despair, returned to the city and died without repentance. And the second, as if not paying attention to what happened, performed those feats as usual. He regained the grace of God, and the Lord had mercy on him.
I say this to the fact that if we are visited by some thoughts, even supposedly just ones, in no case should we succumb to passion. Sinful thoughts, as I said, always have a plausible appearance. You look at some simple dish on a fast day and it seems to you that it is impossible to taste, you cannot endure it, you must eat it right away. Is it really delicious? True, but this truth is satanic. So is despondency. "I've sinned, I can't do anything." This is true? True - but it is not from God, and it cannot be trusted. Don't accept everything. When a person begins to reason too logically, he forgets one simple thing: that his logic operates under the influence of passion. This is the logic of passion - anger, gluttony, despondency or something else. She leads him to a definite, logical conclusion for this passion. Therefore, it is better not to go into reasoning, but simply say: no, that’s all, I don’t accept it. And pray, of course.
Question. I get depressed almost every day, but it seems to me that it depends not only on me. It’s just that in my life, for some reason, failures and various unpleasant surprises are very frequent, from which, like it or not, you become discouraged.
Answer. Everyone has failures and troubles, but if a person reacts this way to any little thing, it means that the passion of despondency is extremely strong in him. She does not need any reasons - she herself will find reasons everywhere. Under the influence of passion, even objects that are not at all conducive to despondency seem obviously sad to a person. Another person might be happy for something, but a dull person is sad.
Let's say some book lover came into the library and rejoices: “Look, how many books! I can't get out of here!" And the other, who is not friends with the book, came in and said: “Terrible! Is it all worth reading? I will never read this. I was a fool, I'll die a fool." Here, this man created the situation. She came with him to the library. The situation is this: he will never read anything, everything is lost, everything is useless. Under the influence of passion, a person directs attention to objects that feed this passion: his inner eye grabs something from the environment, and neglects something. Yes, and the very habit of a person to act according to passion, as it were, limits him to certain limits. He behaves in accordance with his inclination: he makes some gestures, looks somehow, says something, undertakes something - and here he again "finds himself in an unfavorable situation." But this is self-justification. Yes, the situation is unfavorable, but we are to blame for it. We carry it with us, it is everywhere with us. And not only do we create it around ourselves, we also impose it on others: we grumble ourselves and infect others with this mood.
What is there to advise? Struggling with the passion of despondency, to act contrary to it, to force yourself to quit this, so to speak, habit of despondency. But, of course, you need to do this with patience, understand that passion cannot be eradicated in one fell swoop, and do not lose heart because despondency again attacked you.
Question. Father, it turns out that we cannot endure any mournful circumstances due to the fact that the passion of despondency is operating in us?
Answer. Reverend Nil Sorsky defines it as the passion of sorrow. Although, perhaps, despondency works. Every passion has a certain temptation, for example, with prodigal passion, a person is tempted by the beauty of the human body. There is no sin in beauty, God created man this way, and there is nothing wrong with that. A true Christian, impassive, pure, should have admired this, glorifying God just as he glorifies Him when he contemplates nature and even, perhaps, much more. The prophet David says: Praise the Lord, young men, virgins, elders... (see Ps. 149:12). But the devil so arranges that we look at things wrongly: the beauty of the human body arouses in us an impure passion.
Another example. Suppose someone does something wrong before our eyes. We should have sympathy for this person, suggest something to him, or at least internally pray for him, and we react to this with anger. If we looked at everything with a pure eye, then this would make us do good deeds or evoke good thoughts and feelings.
So, if we react incorrectly, it causes the action of passions in us: in the first case - prodigal, in the second - anger. The same can be said about mournful circumstances. For example, an illness should evoke repentance, humility, and patience in us, but it evokes grumbling, sadness, despondency, and despair. Why? Because we again look at the event incorrectly and because of this we are tempted. If we cut off the action of the thought of despondency, sadness or grumbling, then, naturally, virtue would begin to act in us, because man retained the kindness that was bestowed on our forefathers even at creation (virtue, so to speak, is natural for our soul); all the more would the grace bestowed upon us in the Sacrament of Baptism begin to act. Then, rejecting passion, we would perceive with a pure eye this or that phenomenon, in this case sorrow, and even thank God, as, for example, John Chrysostom did, not only a great teacher, but also a great ascetic. He always, under the most mournful circumstances, said: “Glory to God for everything!” And even before his death, being completely ill, being in the most humiliated state, far from his homeland, he said: “Glory to God for everything!”
Question. Can there be repentance with an admixture of despair or despondency? Or is the feeling of repentance always a pure feeling?
Answer. Of course, when a person repents, he experiences some kind of bitterness, but this bitterness is dissolved by consolation and hope. And the stronger the bitterness, the more abundant the consolation should be. For example, those people who dared to humble themselves in such a way that they said about themselves: “All will be saved, I alone will perish” or “Where Satan is, there I will also be,” certainly had grace-filled consolation, which allowed them to endure the suffering that comes from such humility. And if any of us would take it into his head to use such reasoning, it would, of course, lead to despair. Therefore, we need to humble ourselves to the extent of our experience, as the Lord gives, that is, to have a repentant mood, to remember death, and as we grow spiritually, humility will deepen.
Schema-Archimandrite Abraham (Reidman)
On July 15/28, on the day of the memory of the Holy Equal-to-the-Apostles Prince Vladimir, the celebration of the Day of the Baptism of Rus' was established in Russia and Ukraine. The Equal-to-the-Apostles Prince was not only an educator and baptizer, he was a loving father for his people, who moved them with his sovereign hand on the path to the Kingdom of Heaven. But what about today? In what ways and how can people in power today imitate the holy prince in order to bring their people closer to the ideals of Holy Rus'? And how can all of us truly honor the memory of the holy prince in our lives, our deeds and deeds?
(Gospel of Luke, 66 conception, chapter XII, verses 16-31)
“And he spoke to them a parable: A certain rich man had a good harvest in the field; and he reasoned with himself: what should I do? where can I gather my fruits? And he said, This is what I will do: I will tear down my barns and build larger ones, and I will gather there all my bread and all my goods, and I will say to my soul: soul! much good lies with you for many years: rest, eat, drink, be merry” (vv. 16–19). It would seem that these words apply only to rich people, and if they are understood in a very narrow sense, then only to those who are engaged in agriculture, that is, to landowners who have harvested a bountiful harvest. But we must remember that this is a parable that actually matters not only for farmers and rich people in general, but also for every person who acquires something earthly.
Perhaps we do not have such a huge property that we can say that it will bring us peace "for many years", but each of us wants to have at least minimal conveniences in life, everyone is looking for peace. Any person has some kind of dream: for example, a person dreams of buying an apartment and furnishing it with furniture, receiving a satisfactory salary and thinking that then everything will be fine with him, he will be able to live in peace. Perhaps everyone dreams of living a carefree life, not thinking about anything and never having any sorrows or difficulties. It turns out that even if we do not live so well compared to others, we are still no different from the rich man depicted in the parable.
“But God said to him: mad! this very night your soul will be taken from you; Who will get what you have prepared? So it is with those who lay up treasures for themselves, and do not grow rich for God” (vv. 20-21). None of us, neither rich nor poor, nor the one who possesses great wealth, nor the one who seeks to find peace thanks to his modest wealth, no one knows when the day of his death will come. Death can overtake a person quite suddenly, not only old and not only sick, but also completely healthy and young. It happens that a person is terminally ill for a long time, but does not know about it, and only a sudden death reveals his long-standing illness. Some terrible misfortunes often occur: for example, a person dies during a catastrophe or, being completely healthy, a person suddenly falls ill and, as they say, burns out in a month ... Even for people who have already reached a ripe old age, death comes unexpectedly if they spent their lives impiously, not caring either about eternal life or about the fate of their immortal soul, if they did not prevent death good deeds especially repentance. It would seem that a person has acquired everything in order to live carefree and calm - and suddenly all this is taken away from him either by death, or, perhaps, by some circumstances. Everything that he hoped for, what he already lived, that calmed his spirit, is taken away. A person may face new difficulties and worries, and he will have to start all over again. Such are the vicissitudes of the earthly life of a person who hopes not in God and not in his spiritual labors, prayer and repentance, but in his earthly abilities. The wise Solomon spoke about this in ancient times in his book “Ecclesiastes”: a person works, acquires, accumulates wealth - and does not know who will get it. He works hard, achieves some results, and maybe the one who continues his work will do everything differently or just spoil it. It turns out that a person who seeks consolation in earthly labors always turns out to be deceived. Solomon calls all this great vanity and vexation of the spirit (see Eccl. 1:14). Not only those who have wealth, but all people are subject to this endless fuss, everyone hopes for a ghost, because earthly well-being, in which we see a reliable, solid support that brings us peace, in reality turns out to be just a ghost. If anyone does not know this truth in youth or middle age, then at the hour of death everyone will surely know it, when each of us will be forced to leave the earth, and the body itself, and everything that he has acquired and thanks to which, seemed to be able to enjoy life in peace. Then we will know the truth of the words of the Savior: “Mad! this very night your soul will be taken from you; Who will get what you have prepared? And “this is what happens to those who lay up treasures for themselves, and do not grow rich for God. A person who thinks to gain something for his earthly existence undergoes the same thing that the rich man from the parable underwent. Of course, we all wish ourselves well, love for ourselves is instilled in us by God, it is even a criterion for love for our neighbor: “Love your neighbor as yourself” (see Luke 10:27), although at the Last Supper the Savior commanded the disciples love your neighbor even more than yourself (see John 15:12-13). When it is said that we should grow rich not for ourselves, but for God, then our earthly body, the earthly, so to speak, essence, and the heavenly essence are opposed, that is immortal soul. The words “get rich for God” do not mean at all that we save for God, as if God needs our wealth. It would be more correct to say that it is necessary to grow rich in God, that is, to acquire the grace of God, and not earthly property. In order for us not to become like an unreasonable rich man and sooner or later not to experience bitter disappointment in vain labors, because our efforts were not directed towards what is needed, we, living on earth, must use all our strength to acquire spiritual wealth. Just as other people work to ensure their earthly well-being, so we must work to ensure the spiritual well-being. If we compare how much effort and time we spend on bringing ourselves a well-fed and calm existence and how much on saturating our soul with spiritual blessings, then we will see that this is incomparable: we do almost nothing for the soul and this from morning to evening we work for our body. We work day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year, and all of a sudden it's all taken away from us. What are we working for? Why do we put our whole lives on acquiring a ghost, and make almost no effort to sate our soul in order to prepare for it eternal abodes?
Feeling grace in the soul is a guarantee of eternal bliss in heaven. It is not necessary to think that this is not connected with each other, because the soul feels what it acquires. It can be said that if we do not feel anything in our soul now, then we have not gained anything for the future life, therefore, taking care of our body, about food, we must always remember about our soul. I do not urge you to leave worldly affairs and live the way monks live, but everyone needs to take care of the soul. Saint John of Damascus says that in Old Testament the Jews dedicated one day to God, the Sabbath, while in New Testament times, Christians dedicate their whole lives to God. The commandment about the Sabbath has not been canceled, but applies to the whole life of a Christian who always keeps the Sabbath, that is, everything he does, he dedicates to God. A Christian should try to benefit from everywhere for his soul, to become a kind of spiritual self-interested person who, in any smallest deed, gains something for his soul. Even among the most ordinary earthly occupations, one must think about spiritual gain. Suppose you work at a factory or in some office and you are insulted and humiliated there, but you humble yourself, think about your spiritual benefit, about eternal life. Someone has done you meanness - answer it with a noble deed, or at least endure it - and now you have already gained something. They tempt you with some depraved speeches - go away, pray, do not be afraid of ridicule - and again you made a gain, because you retreated from sin, chose chastity, mental, spiritual and bodily purity. And so it is necessary to act wherever and wherever there is any opportunity to fulfill the commandments. The whole life of a person should be permeated with them: everywhere and everywhere look for profit, accumulate spiritual wealth, strive for enrichment in God, and not for the accumulation of earthly property. We must evaluate each of our actions: what do we gain? Are we following the commandment or are we breaking it? How do we perform? And so every day, hourly, like a man who counts his every penny. If we acquire this spiritual greed, a kind of spiritual greed, then we will constantly enrich ourselves internally, even if outwardly our life will not differ in any way from the life of everyone around. The means for this is, first of all, unceasing prayer, because without it it is impossible to acquire any virtues.
In this way, we will gradually accumulate spiritual wealth, which, undoubtedly, will be felt in our soul. If we sin in something, then we will immediately see it, having felt a certain loss, and we will begin to find out why we suffered it, like business people who try to conduct their business in such a way as not to have losses at all, or at least to minimize them and profit from everything. This is how we should act with respect to God's grace then we will grow rich in God, grow rich spiritually. From day to day, from year to year, this spiritual treasure will accumulate and we will come to the inevitable moment of death having already acquired a certain wealth, which, although we call it wealth in God, remains in our soul. Thus, spiritual man finds God, the Creator of everything inside his heart, and everything earthly, material, remains outside of it.
Therefore, let us all strive to acquire this inner wealth – the grace of God. Then we, growing rich in God, acquiring God Himself in our hearts, upon passing into eternal life Let's take this treasure with us. Only it is actually ours, and everything else is someone else's, because even our body does not belong to us. Let us always, every moment of our life, force ourselves to take care to acquire Divine grace get closer to God and instill God in your heart.
It is impossible not to say a few words about Abbot Abraham (Reidman), judging by the words of L. Miller herself, spiritually close to her and her cause of exposure " dark forces". It was he who organized her meeting with "monastics and laity" in Novo-Tikhvinskoe convent In Ekaterinburg. He was also the initiator of the publication of that notorious pamphlet with the pretentious title "I wrote the truth ...".
But who is this hegumen / anti-Sputinite /? His name in the press almost for the first time surfaced in 1999 in connection with the parishes of the Yekaterinburg diocese organized by him and the dean, who are in places of deprivation of liberty, Fr. Thomas Abel of the scandal around Bishop Nikon of Yekaterinburg and Verkhoturye. And although the Synodal Commission “did not find sufficient evidence that would confirm this or that accusation against Bishop Nikon”, the case started by the “young fellows of Yekaterinburg” ended with the transfer of Vladyka from the pulpit to Pskov-Caves Monastery, as they would say “under the beginning”.
“... Father Abraham,” wrote the NG-Religion newspaper, “is accused of excessive love for expensive church utensils, of monastery The abbot founded the All-Merciful Savior with significant financial support from the Ural businessmen. At the request of Abbot Abraham, cult objects were made from precious metals and precious stones... [...] Payment for cult objects was mainly through donations from well-known businessmen Vadim Churkin and Igor Altushkin, who are members of the board of directors of the largest pure copper plant JSC Uralelektromed . It was at this enterprise that in 1997 a gold production site was opened. Some of the gold bars are allowed to be left at the disposal of the region. It was in this direction that law enforcement agencies tried to investigate. But no violations were found. As for Igor Altushkin and Vadim Churkin, both businessmen were repeatedly awarded by Patriarch Alexy II for good deeds in the name of the prosperity of the Church. One of the gifts, a panagia adorned with diamonds and emeralds, made at the Yekaterinburg jewelry factory, Father Abraham took as a gift to the secretary of the Jerusalem Patriarchate, Metropolitan Timofey of Vostra, without receiving the blessing of the [ruling] bishop”xiv.
These gifts (we mean, first of all, the geographic location of the recipient) were, in all likelihood, far from accidental. “Abraham (Reidman), - says on one of the Internet forums, - had (has?) Close contacts with the Golden Ring of the Urals corporation: the jewelry industry, workshops, etc. During the work of the Synodal Commission, they surfaced, but were » Facts of the transfer of church and jewelry valuables to Israel»xv.
Answering a question from an employee of NG-Religion Maxim Shevchenko (“In connection with this scandal, the connection of local diocesan persons involved in the scandal with structures that are engaged in the extraction and processing of gold and precious stones is mentioned. And some see the real underlying reason for the conflict precisely in the fact that that in the diocese there is a kind of division of property in relation to enterprises associated with precious stones. How true is this?”), the head of the Synodal Commission, Metropolitan Sergius (Fomin), did not deny the very existence of the problem, refusing only to indicate in the best Soviet traditions (“if someone is here and there sometimes”) specific persons: “I do not undertake to assert how true that is. The region is indeed very complex both politically and economically - scandals are not translated in it. [...] Representatives of law enforcement agencies informed us that the clergy, unfortunately, are involved in some kind of criminal stories that are connected with precious stones, drugs [!!!] and alcohol. I would like to remind such clerics that not all money is good for the Church”xvi.
It should also be said about some features of the spirituality of Abbot Abraham, before the tonsure of Peter Isaakovich Reidman, according to the materials of the website of the Yekaterinburg diocesan Pravoslavnaya gazeta, “Odessa Jew by origin. Once he was engaged in spiritual activities in Tobolsk, but was expelled from there for immoral behavior, that is, for drunkenness and adultery. Some Orthodox priests still at a loss how such a person could become a clergyman. After being expelled from Tobolsk, hegumen Abraham arrives in Yekaterinburg, taking with him a number of Tobolsk monks»xvii.
“... Father Abraham,” emphasized the chairman of the Synodal Commission, Metropolitan Sergius (Fomin), “denies the holiness of some saints. This is unthinkable for a monk! It became known that Father Abraham uses physical force during confession, beats not only the monks, but also the parishioners, beats them on the cheeks and on the head. The closeness of his conversations in the monastery is also characteristic, where “uninitiated” are not allowed. There are serious testimonies of people who were expelled from these meetings, at which there were anti-hierarchical speeches”xviii. At one of these "secret" gatherings, L.P. Miller "was honored" to broadcast about Grigory Rasputin.
“Holy Synod,” Met. Sergius, - decided that such a person could not lead the monastery ... "xx Having learned about the deeds of this hegumen, the young priests of the Yekaterinburg diocese "wrote a letter to His Holiness with a request to defrock Father Abraham for lying"xx. But with Fr. Abraham is like water off a duck's back. He retained his dignity and remained the confessor of the Yekaterinburg Novo-Tikhvin Convent. Moreover, according to eyewitnesses, “seriously considered himself a grace-filled elder and demanded unconditional obedience to himself for the ‘education of a new man’”xxi.
And here is the result: in July 2004, at the initiative of Archbishop Vikenty of Yekaterinburg, hearings were held in the diocesan disciplinary commission, the defendants of which were Father Superior Abraham (Peter Isaakovich Reidman) and Abbess of the Novo-Tikhvin Monastery Lyubov (Alla Gennadievna Nesterenko). They were accused of losing "control over their passions", a false understanding of Christian forgiveness, violence against the individual, and "anti-social and anti-state claims." "The industry of suppression of personality and the use of the image of the Russian Orthodox Church in unlawful activities,” the document of the accusing party said, “places the so-called “religious community” of Reidman-Nesterenko in the category of a sect, especially dangerous precisely because its legalization to some extent was successful in the post-Soviet socio-political space”xxii. The subtitle of the publication from which the cited material is drawn is noteworthy: “The Judaizing hegumen set up a totalitarian sect in an Orthodox monastery.”
This last circumstance, bearing in mind the active role of Fr. Abraham in the dissemination of Miller's slanderous fabrications about Rasputin's Khlystism, to the question of a hat burning on a thief ...
