Judaism as a way of life needs ritual. For Jews, any ritual reminds of what place God occupies in his life. Religious practice is seen as a discipline that contributes to the improvement of the character of everyone, as a form of instruction. It gives the Jew the opportunity to relive the experience of his people and thereby strengthens his devotion; it is a way for the survival of the people and the preservation of the faith.
Prayer. The Jew is obliged to pray daily, three times a day. His prayers are supposed to be moral and not hostile to the interests of others. Prayer should be done in deep concentration, self-absorption. It is preferable to pray in a synagogue, as public prayer is more effective.
Food prohibitions are considered part of a special code of holiness that applies only to the Jewish people. They are not seen as desirable or obligatory for all mankind.
Holidays. Major holidays and sacred days include Shabbat (Saturday), a weekly rest day commemorating the creation of the world and the Exodus from Egypt; Rosh Hashanah ( New Year), the anniversary of the creation of the world and the day of spiritual and moral renewal; Yom Kippur (Judgment Day), the day of repentance and return to God through spiritual renewal and good deeds; Sukkot (Tabernacles), nine days (in Israel and the reformists eight), dedicated to the harvest of the autumn harvest and reminiscent of wanderings in the desert, the last day of the holiday - Simchat Torah (Joy of the Torah); Pesach (Easter), which marks the onset of spring and liberation from Egyptian slavery; Shavuot (Pentecost), partly an agricultural holiday, but primarily a commemoration of the day when Moses received the Torah at Mount Sinai; Hanukkah (the Feast of Sanctification, or Lights), celebrated in honor of the victory of the Maccabees over the troops of Antiochus Epiphanes, as a result of which the Jews achieved freedom professing one's religion; Purim (the feast of Zhrebiev, or Esther), in commemoration of the defeat of Haman, who plotted to destroy the Jews; Tisha B'Av (Ninth Av), a day of mourning commemorating the destruction of the First and Second Temples.
Rites of birth and coming of age. When a male baby is born, the foreskin is cut off so that the union-agreement with God is marked with a sign on the body. Boys are named when they are circumcised. Girls are given a name in the synagogue. The rite of redemption of first-born boys is carried out on the thirtieth day after birth. In connection with the beginning of the education of children, initiatory rites are performed. Upon reaching the age of 13, boys (and in conservative and some Reform communities also girls) participate in a bar mitzvah ceremony (for girls, a bat mitzvah), allowing them to enter the community of Israel as full members, responsible for their actions. In the 19th century in conservative and reformist communities, a confirmation ceremony was introduced for boys and girls, usually performed on the day of Shavuot.
Marriage ceremony. First, there is a solemn betrothal (engagement). Then, on the Saturday preceding the wedding, the groom is invited to the synagogue to read the Torah (not usually practiced in Reform communities). During the wedding ceremony, the bride and groom stand under a chuppah - a canopy (this is not always the case with reformists). Standing under the chuppah, the bride and groom sip wine from the same glass. The groom puts the ring on the bride's index finger and recites an ancient formula proclaiming that a man takes a woman as his wife. Seven blessings are pronounced to the glory of God (the reformists have one). In memory of the destruction of the Temple, the groom breaks the glass from which he and his bride drank wine (this is not done in reformist communities). The final blessing is accepted by the reformists. In Orthodox communities, the marriage contract (ketubba) is also read out at the ceremony.
Funeral ritual. Before death, the dying confesses. Relatives of the deceased tear their clothes off (this custom is common among the Orthodox). A candle is lit in memory of the deceased. The body of the deceased is dressed in a white shroud (among the orthodox). During the burial, the Kaddish is read, a prayer glorifying God and expressing readiness to accept his will. Deep mourning lasts a week, during which the mourners do not leave the house (for the reformists this period is shorter). The mourners read the Kaddish in the synagogue for eleven months. After a year, a tombstone is placed on the grave. The anniversary of death (“Yortsayt”) is celebrated by lighting a funeral candle and reading “Kaddish”. On the holidays of Yom Kippur, Sukkot, Pesach and Shavuot, they perform a memorial service, during which they read the Yizkor memorial prayer.
Jewish traditions and rituals are mostly associated with religious holidays. As you know, these people have experienced a lot of sadness and loss, but, nevertheless, they have not lost the ability to have fun.
Religion is associated with the history of this people, originating in ancient times, which are described in the Holy Books. That's where they start Jewish traditions and customs.
One of the traditions is to leave Saturday - the seventh day - for a day off. On this day, you can’t do things that disturb a person on weekdays, you can’t talk about money and calculations, and it’s not even advisable to cook food. Do not use artificial lighting, candles are placed instead.
When it comes to marriage, it is considered a special Jewish tradition. The bride, as it were, devotes herself to her future husband. The celebration should take place in the open air, and over the whole ceremony they hold a blasphemy. This is a canopy that symbolizes the joint house of the newlyweds. The wedding is celebrated for seven days.
is one of the main values. Marriage is considered a normal state of a person, and its absence rather indicates spiritual and physical inferiority. Unlike Christianity, Judaism does not associate celibacy with holiness; on the contrary, marriage is an ideal commanded by the Torah.
Marriages in Jewish society are still played according to established traditions. Marriage is preceded by matchmaking (shiduh), which consists of getting to know the young and their families. Very often, matchmaking is entrusted to a professional (shahdan), matchmaking is often initiated by the parents of one of the parties. If the matchmaking was successful, then a document (tnaim) is drawn up, which indicates the day of the wedding and lists all the material obligations that the parents of the newlyweds assume to organize and ensure the wedding. The wedding day itself is called "chupa" or "chupa day" (this is the name of the wedding canopy, under which the marriage ceremony takes place). The wedding begins with the signing of a ketubah, a document that lists the rights and obligations of a husband and wife, including the material obligations of a man in the event of a divorce. The document is traditionally written in Aramaic, which was spoken by the Jews in antiquity, but is also translated into Hebrew.
IN families of Israel the rights of a woman are quite seriously protected: for more than a thousand years there has been a ban on divorcing a woman if she does not agree; For more than two thousand years, there has been a custom to give a woman a ktuba at a wedding - a document that protects her interests in the event of a divorce. The ketubah lists in detail the dowry that is given for the bride. The husband has the right to use the dowry, but in the event of a divorce, he is obliged to return it in full, adding to it another third of its value (the so-called "third increase"). The ketubah must be signed by witnesses (not the relatives of the young, but third parties), it is also signed by the newlyweds. The rabbi reads the ketubah after the groom puts it on the bride's finger wedding ring and then the ketubah is handed over to the bride.
If the family does not work out and it comes to a divorce, the man must hand over to his wife or her representative a special divorce document (get). Even if the divorce is initiated by the wife, the man must still give her this document, otherwise the wife will not be able to remarry. In addition, a woman does not have the right to remarry if her husband is gone, in which case she receives the status of "aguna" (connected).
Families in Israel considered one of the most peaceful and prosperous in the world. As a rule, in Israeli families it is not customary to raise your voice and overly emotionally solve problems. It is believed that any conflict can be resolved in a calm diplomatic way. Parents are an undeniable authority, they pass on to children all national and family traditions, instill the skills of proper behavior and education.
Regarding the relationship between a man and a woman in the families of Israel, then they are based on a certain degree of equality. Although a woman cedes to a man the right of the first and foremost in the family, the Israeli family value system is based on the fact that each of them has his own duties that the other could not fulfill, and all duties are equally important for the full functioning of the family.
According to Israeli traditions, there should be absolute spiritual and physical purity in the relationship between spouses. For example, at the moment when a woman begins her menstrual cycle, she is considered unclean and her husband should not touch her. This period, excluding the possibility of intimacy, begins on the first day of menstruation and ends with a special rite of purification. A woman should keep track of the time of the onset of menstruation and know exactly the day when the cycle will begin. After the end of menstruation, it is necessary to count seven days, after which the woman undergoes a rite of purification. After that, intimacy between the spouses is again possible. In addition, it is believed that if a child is conceived during the menstrual cycle or before the purification ceremony, that he will have a very bold and rude character. If the child was conceived on clean days, then he will definitely grow up as a kind and wonderful person.
There is a relationship in the families of Israel to the upbringing of children. Like any other parent, Israelis only want the best for their children. In addition to the actual upbringing of positive and good qualities in a child, in addition to developing his mind and striving for success, Israeli families also instill love and reverence for religion and for numerous national traditions, most of which have very ancient history. Children must sincerely and with real love to honor not only relatives, but also the history, religion and culture of their people. Israelis do not belong to the category of parents who allow their children absolutely everything. Against, in the families of Israel children are kept in strictness and from an early age they clearly explain what is right and permissible, and what is not permissible.
Israeli society is not homogeneous. In general, it can be divided into two categories: secular and religious. Approaches to 
life and the upbringing of children in these two categories differ significantly. If the secular part of the Jewish people is more like Europeans in life guidelines and in organization living space, then the religious part of society - the Hasidim are very strongly focused on religion, on the observance of all religious canons and rites, of which there are a great many in Judaism. For secular families in Israel the average number of children is about two, for religious families, as a rule, five or six. The average birth rate in the country is about three children per woman.
In Israel, in accordance with the needs of such a heterogeneous society, a rather complex education system has been created. There are three types of general education schools: religious, state-religious and secular. In religious schools, secular subjects are given to the discretion of the administration, religious education dominates, the Ministry of Education does not supervise such schools and does not issue diplomas. State-religious schools differ from the former in that they contain both religious and secular subjects in the same quantity, the Ministry of Education controls the activities of such schools, and certificates are issued in them. Secular ones, respectively, are mostly focused on secular education, religious subjects are presented to a minimum and are not mandatory, certificates are also issued. Schools, in addition, are divided according to the payment system. There are completely free schools - state, there are semi-state (parents partially participate in the payment), as well as private, tuition fees in which are fully paid by the parents of the students. The best education is given in paid schools. For additional education, there are also evening private schools with a different bias.
Kindergartens are free for children from three years old, the child can stay there until 13:00 - 13:30, that is, until lunch. Also in such kindergartens there is an extension until 16:00, but for an additional fee. Kindergartens up to three years old are paid, there are also private kindergartens where a child can stay full-time. The amount of payment for a municipal kindergarten is on average 9% of the average salary, while a private one can reach up to 30% of the average salary.
The history of the Jewish people, numbering several millennia, is full of dramatic and tragic collisions. For over four millennia, Jews lived (and still live) in the neighborhood of the most different nations. It is not surprising that they willy-nilly adopted other people's customs. Another thing is surprising: in all Jewish communities - from Russia to Australia, from America to China - many ceremonies, rituals and folklore representations are similar. For four millennia, the star of more than one civilization has managed to rise and set. (remember the course school history: Egypt and Ancient Greece, Ancient Rome and Byzantium ...) How did this small people scattered all over the world manage to keep their traditions and customs unshakable? Perhaps the point is that the Jewish people from the most ancient times were a people of books. Almost all Jewish culture - including folklore and ritual practice - is based on sacred books ah, common to all Jews, wherever they live.
We want to talk here about the traditions and rituals associated in Judaism with pregnancy, childbirth and the first days of a child's life. However, in such a story, we will inevitably (for the reasons indicated above) have to refer to Jewish sacred books - for example, the Torah and the Talmud. Probably, not everyone knows what kind of books they are, and we considered it possible to preface this article with a small essay that will allow inquisitive readers to orient themselves a little in Jewish religious literature, which serves as the source and basis of all rituals, rituals and traditions of the Jewish people.
Mankind owes to the Jewish people one of the most ancient literary and historical monuments in the history of mankind - the Bible. The Bible is considered scripture two religions - Judaism and Christianity. According to Jewish doctrine, the Jewish people entered into a covenant with God - a kind of agreement between God and people. All religious life Jews is imbued with intense expectation of the coming of the Messiah - God's messenger, who will finally deliver the Jewish people from the severe suffering that has haunted them throughout its history. Christians believe that the Savior - Jesus Christ - has already been sent to mankind (and not only to the Jews). That's what it's about New Testament not recognized by Jews. (Those. christian bible, unlike the Jewish one, consists of two parts - Old Testament and the New Testament.) The core of the Old Testament is the so-called Pentateuch, which, as you might guess, consists of five books: the Book of Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers and Deuteronomy. The Hebrew Pentateuch is the Torah. Ever since Moses made a Covenant with the Lord, the life of an Orthodox Jew has been strictly regulated. What, how and when to eat? How to get married, get married, give birth, bury? Judaists find the answer to all these questions - along with the Torah - in the Talmud. After the flight of the Jewish people from Egyptian slavery, during forty years of wandering in the desert, the prophet Moses once ascended Mount Sinai, where he received from God stone tablets with commandments carved on them, given by God to his people. However, it is believed that Moses was also honored with a conversation with God and received from him some oral instructions, which later became the basis of the Talmud.
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So, what do Orthodox Jews do and what do not do in connection with pregnancy, childbirth and in the first days of a newborn's life? Let's talk about everything in order.
Pregnancy
There are no magical or mystical rituals associated with pregnancy (as well as with childbirth) in the Bible, but the Talmud abounds with them.
It was believed that a pregnant woman was constantly in wait for evil spirits, from which they tried in every possible way to protect her. Amulets with verses from the Bible were hung in the house. In Eastern Jewish communities, there was a custom called "hadash" ("new"), when a week before the birth, girl friends came to the pregnant woman and sang special songs in which they asked for a happy fate for the newborn. In the Jewish communities of Germany, it was customary to draw a circle with chalk or charcoal on the walls of the room where the birth was to take place. Here, too, a few days before the birth, a pregnant woman was certainly visited every evening - however, it was not girls who came, but boys - to read the psalms specially prescribed for this occasion. Sometimes the guests stayed overnight and "guarded" the pregnant woman. The fact is that at the bed of a pregnant woman, according to the Talmud, three people must be constantly present, designed to protect her from the machinations of evil demons. Sometimes in the house of the future mother, for the same purpose, they hung strips of paper with the text of one of the psalms - above the windows, the door, the chimney hole and other openings through which, it was believed, evil spirits could enter the house.
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childbirth
Already in the Torah - the most ancient of all Jewish sacred books known to us - there is a commandment to "be fruitful and multiply" - the first command given to mankind by God. And it is also said there that birth pangs are a punishment for the fall of mankind. It is interesting that later this idea was logical development: if a difficult birth is a punishment for disobedience, then, accordingly, an easy birth, without pain and torment, is a reward for righteousness. It is no coincidence that the Talmud tells the story that the mother of Moses was delivered from the curse of Eve due to her pious behavior. Midwives are also mentioned in the Bible. After analyzing the biblical descriptions of childbirth, scientists came to the conclusion that in those days, women gave birth sitting on a special chair called “mashber”, or on their husband’s lap, and midwives helped to take birth. In the Talmud, a woman in labor is called “haita” (“revived”) or “mahbalat” (“pledge”): according to Talmudic ideas, at the time of childbirth, she seems to temporarily die and is in the power of death, and then returns to life.
Among the Jews, as well as among many other peoples, in particular among the Slavs, it was believed that the absence of any kind of buttoned and closed items in the clothes of the woman in labor and in the room where the birth takes place contributes to the facilitation of childbirth. The woman was unfastened all the buttons and fasteners on her dress, removed the belt, let her hair down. All windows and doors were opened in the house. In addition, mirrors were hung, as they believed that Satan and other demons were hiding in them. Talmudists believed that the suffering of a woman at the birth of a girl is stronger than at the birth of a boy. During especially difficult childbirth, the key to the synagogue was put into the hand of the woman in labor, and next to it were placed ribbons that encircle the Torah scroll. In some Jewish communities (for example, in Ukraine), in especially difficult cases, the relatives of a woman in labor even specially went to the synagogue and opened the ark in which the Torah scroll is kept - the so-called Aron Kodesh. Probably, the Jews borrowed this custom from their Christian neighbors, since it was universally accepted among the Slavs in such a situation to ask the priest to open the Royal Doors in the altar of the church. Both priests and rabbis have long tried (not very successfully) to fight this tradition.
Saturday for Orthodox Jews is a sacred day when any kind of work is prohibited - you can’t even light a fire and turn on / off the electric light. However, for the sake of the birth of the child and the health of the woman in labor, Jewish Law allows the violation of the Sabbath and all other holidays. True, if this or that action is not dictated by an immediate danger to the life and health of a woman in labor or a baby, on Saturday they still tried to refrain from this action. For example, if childbirth took place on a weekday, the “baby place”, or placenta, should immediately be buried in the earth as a guarantee that the person would eventually be returned to the earth. On Saturday, the last was not buried, but who could save it where they could: noble women - in bowls with olive oil, poorer ones - in woolen shreds, and very poor ones - in wadding.
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After childbirth
After childbirth, both the woman in labor and the newborn continue to be in a transitional, “borderline” state between life and death, between that world and this one. Within a few days after the birth, it is allowed to break the Sabbath in order to make a fire for the woman in labor, warm up food, etc. Some rabbis believe that this period is calculated in three days, others - seven, and others - thirty. It is characteristic that these numbers - three, seven and thirty - are different stages of mourning for a deceased person.
For some time after giving birth, a woman is considered ritually unclean. According to the biblical commandment, after the birth of a boy, a woman remains unclean for seven days, and then for another 33 days she must “sit in purification” - not touch anything sacred. After the birth of a girl, all terms are doubled: a woman is considered unclean for two weeks, and then “sits in purification” for 66 days. One of the books explains this as follows: although man and woman were created on the same day, Adam was introduced into the Garden of Eden a week later, and Eve only two weeks after birth, so boys have an advantage in timing over girls.
In the case of the birth of a boy, the period from birth to circumcision is considered the most difficult stage for the woman in labor and her son. In one medieval Jewish book of the 10th century, there is an interesting story about the female demon Lilith.
Adam's first wife, Lilith, was, like Adam, created from the earth. They lived in the Garden of Eden and one day decided to make love. Lilith demanded equality - she wanted to lie on top. Adam did not allow her to do this, then she uttered the secret name of God and disappeared. Adam was indignant, called to the Lord, and the Lord created for him from his own rib a second wife - Eve, "flesh of flesh", who was obedient to Adam in everything. And in pursuit of Lilith, the Lord sent three angels - Sanvi, Sansanvi and Samangelof. They found Lilith standing in the middle of the sea and made a pact with her. Lilith promised that she would harm only small children until the day of circumcision and would not touch those children next to whom she saw these three angels or amulets with their names.
Since then, in many communities it is customary to put amulets with the names of these angels in the cradle of the baby before circumcision. The Jews believed that evil spirits become very dangerous on the eve of circumcision, while after this ceremony, the baby can be much less afraid of their power. To avert danger, they used all kinds of amulets and performed magical rites. In European (Ashkenazi) communities, on the night before circumcision, they performed "vakhnacht" - "night vigil" at the bedside of the mother and baby, during which they lit as many candles as possible, and relatives read prayers and arranged a special meal.
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Boys: circumcision
The most important milestone in the life of a boy (we will talk about girls a little later) is circumcision. Circumcision is the removal of the "foreskin", i.e. skin at the end of the penis. It has been practiced and practiced by many nations. There are carvings of ancient Egyptian priests at the time of circumcision; among the Romans, singers underwent this operation, believing that it improves the voice. Today, many non-Jewish men are circumcised simply because they believe that the foreskin easily becomes a source of infection if not kept clean. However, Jewish (and Muslim) circumcision is not just a surgical operation. It is done for religious, not medical reasons. Circumcision in Judaism marks the accession of a person to the Covenant between God and the Jewish people. According to Jewish tradition, circumcision must take place on the eighth day - even if that day falls on a Sabbath or a holiday. However, if there are concerns for the health of the child, circumcision is postponed to a later date. Circumcision is a joyful event, many guests are invited to this ceremony, a plentiful meal is arranged, gifts are given to the baby. According to the tradition of European Jews (Ashkenazi), before circumcision, parents must choose a man and a woman, usually spouses, who will be "quatters" ("bringers"). Quatters bring a child to be circumcised. Their participation in the later life of the child resembles the function godparents in the Christian world. According to the Law, circumcision can be performed by any person - it does not matter even if it is a man or a woman - but for many centuries the rite of circumcision has traditionally been performed by a person specially trained in this craft. Such a person is called a mohel. When he is ready to proceed with the operation, the Quatterine woman takes the infant from its mother and carries it on a cushion into the room where the men have gathered. There she hands the baby over to her husband, the quatter, who takes him to the mohel.
The child's father is standing next to him. Before the circumcision is performed, the mohel places the child, along with a pillow, on an empty chair, called the chair of Elijah the prophet. There is an ancient belief that the spirit of this prophet is present at every circumcision. Then the baby is placed on the lap of the person chosen for the role of "sandak" ("receiver").
Throughout the procedure, the sandak keeps the baby on his lap. The mission of sandak is considered very honorable. Parents usually ask the child's grandfather or a respected member of the community to become sandak. As soon as the circumcision is done, the father pronounces a blessing, which says that God commanded this to be done so that the child could join the Covenant. Then the mohel takes the boy in his arms, blesses him and calls him the name chosen by the parents in advance.
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Girls: naming
Girls are named differently. This usually takes place in the synagogue, on the first Sabbath after the birth of the child. The girl's father is asked to read the text of the Torah.
Sephardic Jews, residents of eastern communities, since ancient times call children the names of their closest relatives: father, mother, grandmother, etc. Among European Jews (Ashkenazi) it is not customary to give a child the name of a person who is still alive. It is a widespread custom to name children by the names of the righteous (tzaddiks). It is believed that the righteousness of a great man helps the one who bears his name to follow the right path in life.
Who is rich? "... The one whose wife is affectionate and kind"
The Brit Chadasha (New Testament) says: “So husbands should love their wives as their bodies: he who loves his wife loves himself.” (Eph. 5:28)
In Jewish tradition, love and respect for a wife plays a big role. The Talmud says that a husband should love his wife as himself, and respect more than himself (Yevamot, 62b, Sanhedrin, 76b).
"" "A man should eat and drink less than his means allow; dress as his means allow; respect his wife and children more than his means allow" (Khulin, 846). This means that a man must make every effort (even to the detriment of his own needs) to ensure that his wife and children receive everything they need.
"In domestic affairs... a man must follow his wife's advice..." (Bava Metzia, 59a). "A man should be kind and picky in his house" (Bemidbar Rabbah, 89). "Who is rich?"<...>Rabbi Akiva said: "He whose wife is tender and kind" (Shabbat 25b).
"(Chaim Donin. To be a Jew. Chapter 7. Family life: the key to happiness http://www.istok.ru/jews-n-world/Donin/Donin_7.shtml)
The role of marriage
In Jewish tradition, marriage plays an important role. "According to the Jewish conception, a relationship similar to the relationship between a man and Gd is the marriage union between a man and a woman. "If a husband and wife deserve it, God's Presence abides with them" (Sotah 17a). "Man cannot live without wife, a woman cannot live without a husband, and two cannot live without the presence of G‑d" (Berakhot 9:1)" (http://members.aol.com/Agunah/marriage.htm)
When there are good relationships in the family, there is a balance between self-interest and the interests of the spouse. We see a great example in the Jewish tradition. Three well-known questions
Hillel:
"If I am not for myself, who is for me?
And if I'm only for myself, then who am I?
And if not now, then when?" (William Berkson. Jewish Family Values Today http://mentsh.com/PDFwebfiles/Jewish_Family_Values_Today.pdf)
Rambam said: "Know that the act of union (marriage - approx. V.N.) is pure and sacred, if carried out properly, at the right time and with the right intentions." ((Rambam, Igeret ha-Kodesh). Quoted from: Teila Abramov. The secret of Jewish femininity. Israel, p.24)
Prayer for children
Hana Sarah Radcliffe in the article "Being Jewish parents - what does it mean?" quotes a prayer for children, which was compiled by Chazon Ish:
"May it be Your will, Hashem, our God, to take pity on my child (name), to incline his heart to love You, and to fear of You, and to the desire to work diligently on Your Torah. Remove all obstacles from his path who can break this desire, and make sure that everything and everything on this path brings it closer to Your Holy Torah." (Chazon Ish, Kovets Igrot N 74. Quoted from: Khana Sarah Redcliffe "Being Jewish parents - what does it mean?" http://toldot.ru/rus_articles.php?art_id=1084)
About education
Below are some important parenting tips from the Tanakh (Old Testament), Brit Hadash (New Testament) and other sources.
“Instruct the young man at the beginning of his path: he will not deviate from it when he is old.” (Prov. 22:6) “And you, fathers, do not provoke your children, but bring them up in the teaching and admonition of the Lord.” (Eph. 6:4)
"What a child says on the street, he hears at home." (Sukkah 65b. Quoted from: Hana Sarah Radcliffe. "Love and power in Jewish education. Purity of speech." http://toldot.ru/rus_articles.php?art_id=1046)
"Rabbi Yehuda said: Whoever does not teach his son a craft or profession, teaches him theft. (Kiddushin 29a. Quoted from: Rabbi Joseph Telushkin. "Jewish Wisdom", Rostov-on-Don, 2001, p.143).
"You cannot promise something to a child and then not give it to him, because as a result the child will learn to lie." ).
"Yehuda ben Teima said: "Be bold as a tiger, and swift as an eagle, swift as a deer, and mighty as a lion, doing the will of your Father in heaven." (Pirke Avot, 5:20 http://www.chassidus.ru/ library/avot/5.htm)
Rabbi Shimshon Refael Girsh says: “You, who are entrusted with the nurturing of young minds, first of all take care that children treat both the smallest and the largest living creature with respect and care. Let the children remember that all living beings ", like a person, are created in order to enjoy life. They, too, are given to feel pain and suffering. Do not forget - a boy who enthusiastically, with cruel indifference, watches a wounded bug or an animal rushing about in agony, will be deaf to human pain." (Rabbi Shimshon Refael Girsh, Horev p. 293. Quoted from: Chana Sarah Radcliffe. Love and power in Jewish education. Education and love for all the creatures of the Almighty. http://toldot.ru/rus_articles.php?art_id=1034)
""The fundamental principle in raising children is" left hand(i.e. discipline) repels, and right hand(i.e., love and kindness) brings you closer. "But, despite the fact that the words about the" left hand "come first, the" right hand "is more important than the left, because it gives the child the necessary feeling that he is loved. The child will obey discipline, only if it is based on love, because then he understands that strictness is for his own good, because his parents love him and try to help him improve his behavior. "" (Rabbi Yoel Schwartz, The Eternity of the Jewish Home. Jerusalem, Jerusalem Academy Publications , 1982. Quoted from: Hana Sarah Radcliffe "Love and power in Jewish education. To gain authority" http://toldot.ru/rus_articles.php?art_id=789)
"Let the honor of other people be as important to you as your own," says the Pirkei Avot ("Teachings of the Fathers"). In Judaism, actions are important, and parents can show this in practice. Two challahs on the table on Shabbat can serve as a good example for us. Why do we cover these challahs with a napkin while saying kiddush? "Bread is a symbol of sustenance, and with a blessing over bread, an ordinary, everyday meal begins. On Shabbat, the first blessing is supposed to be pronounced not over bread, but over wine. Therefore, a custom has been established: before kiddush, cover Shabbat challah with a napkin so as not to "offend the bread." ( Shabbat: An Island of Peace, Jerusalem, 1993, p.30)
If we have such a pity for bread, then all the more we need to have such feelings towards people! (HELEN MINTZ BELITSKY. Beginning at Home: Raising Menshes http://www.socialaction.com/families/Beginning_at_Home.shtml)
"Nobody got cut?"
Hana Sarah Radcliffe writes:
"... I will give an example of the patience and perseverance shown by Sarah Schnirer, the founder of the Beit Yaakov movement. Many stories about her indicate that she embodied the ideal of a person who lives according to the Torah. Classes and living rooms in Sarah Schnirer's seminar were overcrowded to the limit. They were separated by a glass door. One day, in a carefree hurry, the girl moved the bed against the door and broke the glass. Everyone became nervous: what would the teacher say? After all, glass is expensive, and the school was constantly in need of money! Sarah Schnierer came in and quietly asked: "No one cut yourself?" Making sure that everyone was safe and sound, she calmly swept the pieces. And no reproaches, distressed exclamations! But the repair cost a lot of money and it could have been easily avoided.
"Our leg hurts"
Rabbi Moshe Pantelyat cites such an interesting case: “They say about the Jerusalem righteous Rabbi Arya Levin that he once brought his wife to the doctor. When asked what was bothering her, he replied: “Our leg hurts.” it was the most ordinary phrase that expressed the actual state of affairs: he felt the pain of his wife as his own, because over the decades of living together he managed to unite with her into one whole.At this level, the commandment "Love your neighbor as yourself" is fulfilled literally, because there is no wall between a person and those who are closest to him." (R. Moshe Pantelyat. "Jewish marriage" http://toldot.ru/rus_articles.php?art_id=1082)
Ritual Purity
How wonderfully Rabbi Elazar talks about how a woman is renewed after a mikveh: “Every month a woman is renewed by dipping into a mikveh and returns to her husband as desirable as on her wedding day. Just like the moon is renewed every Rosh Chodesh (new moon), and everyone is waiting for her appearance, so the woman is renewed every month, and the husband is waiting for her. And she is loved like a newlywed." (Pirkey de Rabbi Elazar. Quoted from: Teila Abramov. The Secret of Jewish Femininity. Israel, p.107)
The secret of shalom bay (family peace)
"Shalom Bait" (peace in the home) is the ideal standard for a Jewish family. That is why traditional Jewish marriage is characterized by peace, respect, care for each other. In Jewish tradition, marriage is made in heaven. The marriage ceremony is called kiddushin ("consecration" or "initiation"). Husband and wife understand that they are God's creations and should treat each other as saints, build a family on the basis of love, respect and justice. (http://members.aol.com/Agunah/marriage.htm)
"In one of the wonderful teachings of our sages, the secret of shalom bayt (family peace) is briefly formulated: you will be haughty before him, then he will rule over you as a master and perceive you as a servant.”
“Rabbi Yosi said: “... I called my wife “my house”, and I called my house “my wife” (Gitin 52a). ?art_id=228)
Vladislav NAGIRNER.
Consent and blessing of parents to the marriage of their children
Here is an example from Scripture when children asked for parental consent for their marriage:
“And Samson went to Timnah and saw in Timnath a woman from the daughters of the Philistines. He went and announced to his father and his mother and said, I saw in Timnath a woman from the daughters of the Philistines; take her to be my wife." (Judg. 14:1-2)
What do you do if your parents don't agree?
“If someone seduces an unmarried maiden and sleeps with her, let him give her a vein [and take her] to his wife; and if the father does not agree to marry her to him, let him pay [as much] silver as [relies] on the vein of the maidens.” (Ex. 22:16-17)
"The consent and blessing of the parents was considered a prerequisite happy marriage(compare the words "were a burden" in Genesis 26:35, which says that the choice of the bride was made without the consent of the parents)."" ( Bible Encyclopedia Brockhaus, Germany, 1999, p.107).
“And Esau was forty years old, and took to wife Judith the daughter of Beer the Hittite, and Basemath the daughter of Elon the Hittite; and they were a burden to Isaac and Rebekah.” (Gen. 26:34-35)
More about parental blessings:
“And Abraham said to his servant, the eldest in his house, who was in charge of all that he had: put your hand under my thigh and swear to me by the Lord, the God of heaven and the God of the earth, that you will not take my son a wife from the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I live, but you will go to my land, to my homeland, and you will take a wife for my son Isaac.” (Gen. 24:2-4)
“And Isaac called Jacob, and blessed him, and commanded him, and said, Thou shalt not take a wife for thee from the daughters of Canaan; Arise, go to Mesopotamia, to the house of Bethuel your mother's father, and take a wife from there, from the daughters of Laban, your mother's brother; (Gen. 28:1-2)
“And Caleb said: whoever strikes Kiriath-Sefer and takes him, to him I will give Achsa my daughter to wife. And Othniel the son of Kenaz the brother of Caleb took him, and he gave him Achsa his daughter to wife. When it was time for her to go, she was taught to ask her father for her field, and she got off the donkey. Caleb said to her, What do you want? She said: give me a blessing; you gave me the land of noon, give me springs of water also. And he gave her the springs above and the springs below. (Jesus 15:16-19)
“The appointed days had not yet passed, when David arose and went himself and his people with him, and killed two hundred people of the Philistines, and David brought their circumcisions, and presented them in full to the king to become the son-in-law of the king. And Saul gave him Michal his daughter in marriage.” (1 Samuel 18:27)
