All over the world there are organizations, religions and cults teaching spirituality and all sorts of other metaphysical systems.
Some are looking for the Mother or Father in the spiritual mentor, some position the spiritual mentor as a therapist. Other people are missing something in their lives, so they try to solve the problem through spiritual enlightenment. Unfortunately, there are many scammers and "spiritual" organizations in the world now that take advantage of people's gullibility.
Who is a Spirit Guide
How can a person who is looking for a spiritual mentor recognize a real teacher (or organization)? After all, many people claim that they are spiritual teachers, but not all are such in reality.
spiritual mentor is the person who helps development, spiritual enlightenment, solving problems and achieving life goals. It helps to find answers to many questions, primarily spiritual ones. A healer or a psychologist - as a rule, they help a person solve individual issues or problems and do not influence the fate of a person as completely as a Spiritual Mentor.
How to find a Spiritual Mentor? Who has the right to give spiritual advice
To find a good spiritual mentor, you need to know what qualifications are needed to be one? Most teachers are "self-assessed". There is no gender or tradition.
Good spiritual mentor- this is the one who distinguishes between Good and Evil, always follows the path of Light, does not pursue material values, is not selfish, is fully "enlightened" and understands the true nature of reality. This is a person who has achievements in spiritual development and helping people. He can teach others the different levels of consciousness because he has spent years on his own spiritual development and has great awareness.
Spiritual Counseling
There are many spiritual advisors around. Below are some clues regarding spiritual "advisers" that are not genuine:
They have an inflated sense of self-importance.
They or their followers ask you for money.
They like to be famous and actively seek out a lot of followers.
A guru who attracts people with his charisma rather than his teachings.
Predicts the future with vague statements like: "Something important will happen soon."
They pay a lot of attention to how they dress. Most are dressed in "mystic" style, implying that they have "Great Secrets of Revealing".
Unhealthy relationships with your followers.
They want to control their students in everything. A real teacher wants his student to feel in control of his life.
They claim to be Strong Mage or a prophet.
A real teacher wants to enlighten his student, to see him independent and able to manage his own life, and also to develop in a natural way.
A spiritual mentor will never promise super-fast development and, moreover, demand fabulous sums for training.
Methods for exposing charlatans
A real spiritual mentor does not set excessive demands on his student, he does not sell his knowledge, but shares it. So how do you identify a true spiritual mentor?
The following are the main signs according to which a charlatan can be exposed:
1. Money and material values.
When providing financial support to a new student, it is worth asking where the invested funds are spent. There is a big risk that the money invested for good can be spent for other purposes. This leads to the question: is this a real spiritual mentor?
Power can be both positive and negative character. There is a big difference between when a person mindlessly submits to authority or consciously recognizes his spiritual master, who must be obeyed. Cult leaders do not like honest feedback, the person is not allowed to question their actions or decisions. The overbearing guru loves to dictate how to behave and control the lifestyle of his disciple. This is not spirituality, this is a spiritual dictatorship.
3. Alcohol and drugs.
Some spiritual teachers ask their students to drink alcohol or take drugs in order to achieve enlightenment! The maximum that can be achieved in this case is the acquisition of alcohol or drug addiction.
4. Sexy Guru.
Sexual relations between a person who is in power and a person who is dependent on a powerful person is a betrayal. Unfortunately for last years there have been many reports of sexual misconduct among spiritual teachers. Disciples are told that in order to achieve full enlightenment, they must have sex with their master. It is important to understand that this is just a brazen manipulation aimed at using people to satisfy their own sexual needs.
Reasons why many people trust charlatan prophets
Mistaken charisma and power for wisdom.There are many powerful people who are not necessarily wise. Wisdom is often associated with simplicity and humility. A good mentor is compassionate and does not position their spiritual enlightenment as a sign of achievement.
Guru worship. Some spiritual mentors, at every opportunity, focus on the fact that they supposedly have powerful spiritual energy. This forces the student to focus more on the person of the spiritual advisor than on his spiritual teachings. True spiritual mentors lead an ascetic lifestyle and do not strive for popularity and fame; they take a person for training in order to pass on the experience and knowledge gained, and not for material gain or other personal interests.
Effect . Just because a teacher has spirituality does not mean that he knows everything. The spiritual master also makes mistakes, and if he admits this, he is sincere with his disciple.
On the way to spiritual enlightenment, it is important not to engage in self-deception and remember that spiritual development is painstaking work on oneself, which requires a lot of time.
When looking for a spiritual mentor, one must be guided by facts indicating the presence or absence of sincerity, as well as a realistic look at assessing the abilities of one's teacher and remembering that teachers can also make mistakes. A spiritual mentor must be chosen not only with the mind, but also with the heart, and it will certainly help in the right choice.
Finding a confessor and a parish is not easy. Here, not only circumstances common to all play a role, but also the personal characteristics of a person: his interests, habits, and much more. Spiritual life is, in principle, too complex to give universal advice.
But at the same time, there are a number of things that everyone should pay attention to. They will make it possible to avoid the most common mistakes in churching, and will prevent them from falling into a pseudo-Orthodox sect instead of the Church.
1
Love
In the Gospel, the Lord himself gives a simple but very sound advice about what is the main hallmark Christian. The Savior reminds the apostles: By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another (). It is by this criterion that one should look for a community and a confessor.
At the same time, you should not hope that you will suddenly come across a temple where only saints go. Note here that even the saints had their sins and shortcomings. And therefore, in order not to be disappointed, from the very beginning one should not harbor illusions: in any human community there is always misunderstanding, conflicts, and tensions. The only question is their degree. A parish, like any other organization or group, can equally turn out to be both an association of normal, living (and therefore not without problems in communication) people, and a “terrarium of like-minded people”.
Arriving at the temple, you are unlikely to immediately understand all the intricacies of relations between regular parishioners, this will take time. But you can immediately notice if the parish has problems in relations with other communities and the Church as a whole. The idea of a besieged fortress, the only "correct" parish, can take on a variety of forms, but this is always a reason to be wary. To oppose oneself to the rest of the Church, to assert that only your rector has the ultimate truth is a sure step towards a secret sect under an Orthodox sign.
2
Liberty
The parish is not a barracks, where everything is subordinated to the execution of the commander's will, and the subordinates should not think about anything. The task of a confessor is to teach a person to think independently and make decisions independently. Therefore, a good spiritual father will give advice rather than orders, help the parishioner with his self-education. And will never cut off the shoulder.
Unfortunately, there are also such cases when, having seen a parishioner for the first time, the priest orders him to go to the monastery or tie the knot with a stranger. Often such priests are surrounded by people who tirelessly repeat that "father -" and he must be obeyed unquestioningly. However, one should not forget that such an attempt to break someone else's will does not correspond to the idea of the life of a Christian and is even condemned by the conciliar decision of the Church.
Decree of the Holy Synod of Russia Orthodox Church dated December 28, 1998, points out to priests that it is inadmissible to persuade parishioners to leave their studies, work or military service, become monks, marry, make any donations. On any of these topics, of course, you can consult with the priest, and he will give you an answer, but he himself has no right to force you to do anything and demand this from you.
Orthodoxy is a religion of freedom. However, do not forget that if you make a free choice in favor of evil, you personally will be responsible for it.
3
"Working with Sources"
No, even the most experienced, priest can say things that contradict Holy Scripture, the canons of the Church and its conciliar decisions. Therefore, the best defense against falling into a pseudo-Orthodox sect can be for you to work with "several sources." Trust your confessor, but at the same time read the Gospel and interpretations of authoritative theologians, do not avoid educational courses, even if they take place outside your parish. Do not be afraid to consult not only with yours, but also with other priests.
There is nothing sinful in the fact that you strive as fully as possible, including from primary sources, to learn about your faith. On the contrary, education is one of the most important pillars of a Christian's spiritual growth.
But at the same time, be careful, do not let yourself fall into another extreme, and do not think that after a couple of weeks of studying at catechism courses, you will definitely begin to understand everything better than your parish priest. Experience shows that a newly converted Christian, who does not have the proper education and experience, can himself mistakenly understand this or that place in Scripture, unknowingly misinterpret the words of the Church Fathers or the decision of some council. In such a situation, one step remains before unfairly condemning one's confessor, and even the entire Church. More than one tragic split arose in this way, due to the illiteracy of people armed with “half-knowledge”.
Therefore, if something in the words of your confessor confuses you, try to check and double-check it in as many ways as possible.
4
Churchness instead of subculture
A common mistake of a person entering a temple for the first time is trust in those who are sometimes called church freaks.
Indeed, the Church has its own traditions, even its foundations: there is nothing strange in this. On the contrary, sometimes it is the Church today that acts as the custodian of all the best that is left to us from traditional society. However, firstly, the Church is not a reserve of antiquity or some special subculture. A church-going man does not have to grow a beard and learn to say “God save you” instead of the usual “thank you”. And, secondly, the degree of spiritual growth and closeness to Christ is again not determined by the length of the beard or skirt.
A novice Christian has a lot of questions: how to pray before eating? Many things seem unusual to him, and this needs to be dealt with. Not least in order to learn to distinguish between important actions for a Christian and exalted behavior.
Remember Dostoevsky's The Brothers Karamazov. The real elder Zosima speaks there in a completely understandable language, does not try to be a fool, although people who are far from the Church, who do not understand many of his actions, suspect him of this. At the same time, his opponent, a monk, who is clearly suffering from many spiritual illnesses, attracts people to himself precisely with his strange behavior, stories about revelations, actors' attempts to portray a popular saint.
5
Above parties
The Church is out of politics. Of course, she cannot avoid any collision with politics, and conversations on the relevant topics will also periodically arise, because they are carried on by people everywhere. However, when political topics begin to dominate the life of the parish, this is already an "alarm bell". After all, let's say, you go to the hairdresser's to get a haircut, and not just to hear even the closest political slogans to you personally from the mouth of the hairdresser. If for your money they talk to you about politics, but they don’t cut your hair, you will be justifiably indignant.
It's the same in the Church. Please note that today famous priests touch on public topics, but whatever they start talking about, the main goal of their speech is Christ and His sermon. For the sake of this, the priest can turn to the problems of the economy, and to political issues, and to the environment, and to contemporary art. But the goal of the conversation should remain a Christian understanding of the problem, that is, ultimately, a conversation about God and eternal salvation, and not about who to vote for.
And, of course, it is absolutely unacceptable if people in the parish are "culled" on political grounds. After all, approaching Communion, all Christians are equal brothers who have left momentary disputes in the name of eternity.
Gurbolikov Vladimir
How to find a confessor? This topic came up quite by accident.- after two conversations heard in the temple with a difference of a week. In one case, a middle-aged man, probably a recent churchgoer, asked his acquaintance, an elderly lady: “No, can you explain to me why I need a confessor? After all, I go to church every Sunday.” The elderly lady, throwing up her hands in confusion, could only find something to say in response: “Well, how could it be otherwise ?! That's how it's accepted." The second conversation took place a week later between two elderly women, one of whom said sadly to her friend: “My confessor, Father Andrei, went somewhere in the Ryazan region. I really don't know what to do now? How to find a new confessor? The same as father Andrei.
These conversations, overheard by chance, as well as some questions about spiritual communion that come to the editors of the Parishioner, prompted the Internet correspondent to-magazine to contact the governor of Danilov stavropegic monastery Archimandrite Father Alexy (Polikarpov) with a request to give a short interview on this topic.
Father Alexy, sometimes people who have recently come to faith have two naive questions: “Why do we need a confessor?” and "How to choose it?" I understand that for many people the answers to these questions are obvious, but what can I say to those who have only recently stepped on their way to the temple?
Of course, if people ask such questions, then you need to figure it out. First of all, it is necessary to understand the following: a person comes to church to receive grace, spiritual strength, in order to build up his salvation. In the temple, he participates in various church sacraments: Baptism, Confession, Communion, Wedding ... Through these sacraments, a person is worthy of union with Christ.
In this case, we are talking about the sacrament of Confession. Taking part in it, the believer discovers the spiritual state of his soul. But he does not confess to a priest - he comes to Christ and confesses first of all to the Lord Himself. It is not for nothing that in the prayers for confession it is said: “Behold, child, Christ stands invisibly, accepting your confession.” The priest is a witness to a frank conversation between man and God. Through him, a priest, we reveal our sins to the Lord and receive forgiveness. Through confession, the Lord accepts our repentance, sees the intention to improve, to purify our soul. We must confirm this intention in our own words.
Each believer, coming to the temple of God and proceeding to the sacrament of Communion, can approach any priest who is currently confessing and confess his sins. If I do not have a confessor to whom I confess, I can go to any priest and receive forgiveness of sins through confession.
At the same time, I can choose one priest and confess only to him alone, and only from him alone can I receive spiritual guidance. At the same time, at confession, I not only repent of my sins, but, if time allows the priest, I can tell him about my spiritual problems, hardships and listen to his advice, spiritual guidance. Such a priest becomes my spiritual father, I choose him as my shepherd in order to be guided in my life by his instructions.
- Father Alexy, how would you answer the second question- "How to choose a confessor?"
You know, when Father Kirill was asked how to choose a confessor, he always said this: “You have to walk around, see who my soul is with, confess to different priests in order to see who I can cling to, whom I can consider my close spiritual father."
The choice largely depends on ourselves, people who repent and strive to become different. In the memoirs of Vladyka Pitirim there is such a playful story. He cites a conversation between two women who came to the confessional of the Danilov Monastery and are considering who to go to confess. One says to the other: "I'll go to that one." "Why? her friend asks. - Do you know him?". “No,” the first woman replies. "But he's so handsome." Here is your solution. Maybe this will make it easier for her to repent of her sins (at these words, Father Alexy smiles). Maybe she thinks that if the priest is handsome, then everything in her life will be beautiful. Of course, human character matters. As the holy fathers say, confessors are different: smart, strict, kind, affectionate, attentive ... But we must not forget that a person’s soul is torn off not by a priest, but by Christ, and a person receives exactly what he needs. Someone needs caress and attention, and the confessor should caress such a person, calm his suffering soul, which is looking for not just human compassion, but compassion through Christ. And someone, on the contrary, needs strictness, because another person is simply not able to collect himself, and for this he needs the help of a confessor.
When a person gains some experience in confession, then it can already be said that he is striving to find a shepherd for himself. I would like to hope that the believer will acquire a spiritual father for a long time or even for the whole life, and, perhaps, this spiritual father will not only instruct him, but, when the time comes, will lead his spiritual child into eternal life.
Although it happens in different ways, and the relationship of a believer with his confessor is also not always the same. But, I repeat, it is important to remember: we do not come to a priest, but to Christ, and every time Christ invisibly accepts our confession.
When a believer, who comes to the same priest over and over again, sees that he truly satisfies his inner spiritual needs, gives real spiritual strength, then the believer says to this priest: “Father, I want to be your spiritual child.” The more often a person comes and opens himself up for confession, the better for his soul. As the Monk Andronicus of Glinsky said, "whoever obeys me is mine and my child."
- Did I understand your idea correctly, Father Alexy, that a person may not immediately choose a confessor for himself?
The search may take time and the need to communicate with different priests. But the approach can be considered incorrect when a person says: “I feel that today, on Monday, I need to go to Father John, and tomorrow, Tuesday, I will go to Father Peter, and the day after tomorrow, to Father Sergius.” I myself heard this from one woman. I think this is completely wrong. That woman believed that her intuition told her so, although in fact she simply went from one confessor to another, succumbing to her emotions. If I seek benefit for the soul, then I will find it, regardless of whether I go to Father John, Father Peter or Father Sergius. It is wrong to sort through different priests, although each priest does his own work, obedience from God is to save a human soul.
So the difference between a spiritual father and a spiritual father is that a believer not only confesses his sins to one of them, but also tells about his life?
No, that's not the point at all. You can both repent of your sins and tell about your life and ask for advice. It's not about talking, it's about life itself. If a person has the intention to treat a particular priest as a spiritual father, a spiritual shepherd, then he chooses him as his permanent spiritual mentor. And he not only goes to him for confession, but is also guided by his spiritual instructions. In communication with my spiritual father, listening to his advice, I strive to become better. I go to him and talk about what I managed to do to grow spiritually, and get new recommendations from him to take the next step on the path to spiritual growth.
Father, sometimes you have to hear from some parishioner in the church: “I won’t go to this priest, he is very strict, but that one is affectionate. That strict priest scolded me the last time during confession, I was so frightened.” It turns out that people are afraid of strict priests?
From a human point of view, this is quite understandable and understandable. Perhaps this woman, this Christian soul, will choose an affectionate priest as her confessor, and, perhaps, she will move forward spiritually with him. But it could very well be the other way around. A good father will forgive and allow her everything, and in her soul there will be no desire to correct herself. And then, perhaps, she will regret that she did not choose a stricter confessor. If they give me fives, then this does not always mean that I know the subject perfectly. Maybe sometimes it’s worth being stricter with yourself, not afraid to work on yourself.
Father Alexy, here's another moment. There are times when parishioners fall in love with their affectionate confessor and begin to demand his attention...
Yes, this phenomenon is known. Sometimes single women really fall into temptation, fall in love with a spiritual mentor, transfer to him those feelings that they should have for their husband. This is due to the fact that women simply forget that the priest is, first of all, our leader in the matter of soul salvation. It is not good when a believer is overwhelmed with emotions, when he dissolves in tenderness towards his spiritual father or in unnecessary spiritual contrition. Therefore, in an emotional relationship with a priest, there must be a measure. The main thing to remember is that when I come to a priest, I come to Christ. Through a priest, spiritual healing is given to me, and it can be an affectionate word that heals our soul, or maybe a strict indication for action.
A believer should look very closely at his relationship with his confessor, and how right or wrong he is in these relationships, let his conscience be his judge.
But it also happens that women get used to communicating with their confessor on all, even the smallest or everyday, issues: the cat ran away, they cheated with change in the store, quarreled with a neighbor ... Is it worth it to “clog” spiritual communication with such, not very spiritual problems?
The cat or the change in the store should probably be put aside. This is clearly redundant. But a quarrel with a neighbor - this must be said in a conversation with a spiritual father. After all, if I quarreled with a neighbor and held a grudge against her in my soul, then this harms my spiritual advancement. You should definitely talk about this with the confessor ... And reconcile with your neighbor. The confessor will help the believer to understand the issue of grievances, quarrels and understanding who is right and who is not.
I know that many people get used to solving everything, even the smallest, issues with their confessor. What can you say! If the priest is ready to listen to all this, it is up to him to decide. But if he does not have time to discuss minor domestic troubles at confession, the parishioner should be prepared for the fact that the priest can stop her. After all, as I have already said, one must understand which issues are important for a person's spiritual growth, his path to God, and which ones are just everyday troubles.
A special thing is the blessing of a priest when a believer asks his spiritual father to bless his intention. But it also happens that a parishioner, having asked and received a blessing from the confessor, then does it in her own way. This is fundamentally wrong. If a person takes a blessing, but acts otherwise, then he can suffer for it.
- And what should you ask for blessings for?
On the intention that a person considers important for himself. Let's say if you are planning to start a new business or take a trip. The blessing of the spiritual father enters my life, directs me, gathers me... After listening to me, the confessor will say whether this business, intention, journey is useful for me or not; Is it worth wasting your time and energy on it, or will it harm my soul ...
- Father Alexy, can a believer have not one confessor at the same time, but two? Or is it unacceptable?
Depending on where you come from. If you simply take quantity and not quality, then this, of course, is wrong. And if, for example, you often go to confession in one place, because this temple is close to your home, but at the same time you also have another confessor, say, in the Lavra or Optina Hermitage, then this is quite normal. But it is desirable, of course, to take a blessing from the elder, or chief (I just don’t know how to call him in this case) confessor to communicate with the priest in a church that is conveniently located for you.
I remember that we were once on a pilgrimage to Cyprus, and one Cypriot woman who was with us on this trip, when we were driving past a monastery, said: “Here, to this monastery, I go in winter, because I go to another monastery , where I also have a confessor, you won’t get there in winter. It is high up in the mountains." Such an approach, in my opinion, is justified, but I think that the Cypriot woman did not make her own decision, but received a blessing from her confessor.
I know a case when a believer turned to one priest for advice about important things in her life, and then, when he gave her an instruction that she did not like, she turned to another confessor. He reacted more favorably to her intention ...
And what is the result?
In the end, she failed.
So who was right? Conclusion: she acted, to put it mildly, not entirely reasonable, not obeying her spiritual father. She did not want spiritual guidance, but approval of a decision already made. But then why turn to a priest if you have already decided everything? Why ask his advice and blessings?
Father, it often happens that a parishioner becomes friends, draws closer to his spiritual father. And when the time comes for confession, a believer sometimes does not want to put himself in a not very good light. He begins to be shy, he thinks: “Well, this sin is insignificant, I, perhaps, will not talk about it” ...
I understood your idea. What you are talking about, unfortunately, happens. The believer justifies himself by saying that he does not want to upset his confessor, whom he respects and honors, but this is a false, extremely wrong feeling. A person should think differently: if I strive for purity, I should try to open myself to my confessor as much as possible, because only in this way do I open myself to God. Saint Peter of Damascus also said: “When you see your sins, like the sand of the sea, this is the health of the soul.” Every believer must understand and accept: a confessor is our way to salvation, and we cannot be saved if we do not open our hearts to the Lord.
- Father Alexy, at the end of the conversation, can you tell us about your first spiritual father?
My first confessor was a monk Pskov-Caves Monastery Schema-Archimandrite Sergius. But I had little chance to communicate with him, and our communication had a written character: he sent me letters with instructions. Then the father died. Then there was the Trinity-Sergius Lavra, where the confessor of the monastery, Archimandrite Father Kirill (Pavlov) became my spiritual mentor.
- And what kind of confessor was he? Strict?
Batiushka was a very loving confessor. But if necessary, he could show appropriate severity, but he was never unreasonably severe. Batiushka himself lived according to the Gospel and proclaimed the Gospel to us (and all the brethren of the Lavra confessed to him). We saw this in his very life, and in his words, and in his deeds. Father Kirill led us to salvation, and while we lived in the Lavra, and while he could communicate with us, we were constantly guided by his spiritual instructions.
- Forgive me, father, for the indiscreet question. Are you a strict confessor yourself?
Don't know. It's hard for me to judge this. I think it's not strict. The main reason is that I am a lazy and negligent monk (Father Alexy laughed at these words). It seems to me that strictness should be appropriate, if only because I myself am a weak person. But, perhaps, someone I seem strict.
And the last question. If we go back to the beginning of our conversation, what advice would you give to a person who has decided to find a spiritual father? What should he be guided by?
What to be guided by? With your desire for salvation! This is the main thing. Someone lives in a place where there is only one church for a hundred miles, and there one priest serves. So, such a believer has a poor choice. But maybe it's not worth it in this case to go somewhere a thousand miles away to look for another priest. Accept the one whom the Lord sends you here and now. And if the choice is large ... There are many temples, many priests, then it is worth turning to God with a prayer: "Lord, send me a spiritual mentor who will be my salvation." And I assure you, God will hear this prayer.
Interviewed by Petr Selinov
When severe trials fall, anxiety and unrest cover, people ask for help from God or from the sages in order to get advice, recommendations for solving their problems. And then there is a need to find a person who can guide you on the right path and help you understand yourself and your own troubles. It is such a person that a spiritual mentor often becomes, who helps to open up the soul, repent and make a decision to change your life.
Why is Spiritual Guidance Necessary?
Without a leader, a person cannot live a life of holiness. You can find a teacher in a church, where you need to come and pray to the Lord to send a confessor who will comfort, advise and direct thoughts in a charitable direction. The role of a spiritual mentor is great. He, communicating with his child, conveys what the spirit of God conveys to him, instills peace and harmony in the soul.
As a rule, a spiritual mentor is a person with great life and religious experience, and he is obedient to lead the religious life of other people. The confessor plays a huge role in the life of a layman and a clergyman, and he is necessary in order to listen to his advice, live piously and reach the Kingdom of Heaven. The history of the church has several options for mentoring. But the main ones are:
- the service of the priest in the parish, where he is the spiritual healer of all parishioners;
- eldership, it was it that became widespread in Russia.
Elders - healers of souls
Originating in Byzantium, it has firmly entered Russian culture and occupied one of the most significant places. The elders took a vow of obedience and by their words and deeds were called to expose sins and console people who were entangled in their own doubts. With saving conversations and instructions, they healed the souls, brought peace and tranquility to them.
Russian eldership takes its origins from the Monk Paisius Velichkovsky and reaches its development thanks to the monks of the Optina Hermitage. Monasteries with their spiritual mentors have been the center of pilgrimage for the Orthodox people for a long time. Eldership had its own peculiarity, where strict asceticism alternated with active exits into the world. These outlets were expressed in contact with the people and in the service of the world as a spiritual helper, mentor and adviser.
Achieving simplicity through humility
Being engaged in the religious education of their students, the elders taught wisdom, contributed to moral growth and improvement. During the earthly life of their spiritual disciple, they coordinated and directed the deeds and actions of the child. The connection between the teacher and the student was very strong, because it was built on a trusting and respectful relationship, humility and love. Father Zakhary instructed to protect one's conscience and strive for simplicity, which can only be achieved through humility.
They came to the elders for advice when there were doubts and difficult situations arose. Consolations and help were expected from the confessor. The uniqueness of the eldership in Orthodoxy lay in the unshakable faith and spiritual strength of the elders and in the subtle work that they carried out in the soul of their disciple. Influencing the human psyche, they delicately and accurately guide a person on the path of gaining love for the Lord.
Finding a Mentor
It is a great grace for a believer to find a clergyman who will be responsible to the Almighty for his student, will pray for him, control the growth of spirituality, guide his actions and instruct him in worldly life, and also guide him on the path of virtue that leads to eternal life. .
For a believer, the way of solving problems is different from the way that unbelieving laymen choose. People who are far from religion, as a rule, try to solve their troubles that have arisen, relying on the help and advice of their acquaintances and, in the main, people who are far from religion. And often the problem is not resolved, but only worsened. This happens because all the complexities are concentrated within us, far from God. And as a result, under the accumulation of sins, there is a failure of spiritual harmony.
With the advent of unforeseen situations, a churched person should go to his confessor for advice. At the same time, the believer understands that when asking what to do, he is waiting for an answer to his question from the Lord. Seeing his humility, God through the priest gives the right advice and blesses. A Christian will never doubt that it is necessary to follow what the confessor says. He is sure that it is the Almighty who sends him his support. Only if you transfer your heart and soul into obedience to a confessor, God's grace will settle in a person.
The Church does not set limits and provides an opportunity for a good Christian to choose a confessor himself. How to find a spiritual mentor? It’s good if it is a clergyman from the temple, where you often come to pray. But everything is individual, and sometimes it is not easy to meet a confessor with whom a trusting and cordial relationship would be established.
The mentor's task
Spiritual mentorship seeks to improve the personality and the manifestation of the image of God in it, to educate the spiritual principle in a person. Orthodox Christian you should definitely read and imbue the instructions of the holy fathers. They say:
- the spiritual thoughts of any Orthodox should be led by a priest, whose help must be addressed both in confession and in teaching;
- try to communicate with the confessor throughout your life, revealing your sins and ungodly thoughts;
- following the teachings of your spiritual father, you will certainly gain the Kingdom of Heaven;
- if you entrust your heart to a confessor, then God's grace dwell in the soul.
How to choose a spiritual father?
How to choose a spiritual mentor? You don't have to look for ways. There is no need to make special efforts when starting the search for a spiritual mentor. This will tell the heart. Understanding whether this is your person or not will come by itself if:
- the advice of the priest has a beneficial effect and heals the soul;
- you receive comfort and feel supported;
- feel joy and peace when communicating with him;
- feel and believe in the power of his prayer and mutual benevolence.
How to start searching for a spiritual father
In order for God to tell you how to find a spiritual mentor, you need to pray a lot and passionately. Starting the search, you need to take a closer look at the parish in which the priest conducts services. A good priest in the temple always has a benevolent atmosphere. It is worth talking with the parishioners, to find out their opinion about the pastor.
You should not go to distant lands, wondering where to find your spiritual mentor. He may be near and closer than you think. You don't have to tell anyone about your mentor when you meet him. religious life- it's private, and there's no need to expose it to the public.
Come often to the church you like. Open up to the priest at confession and pray for him, and then God will reveal his will through him. When communication with a clergyman takes place in confidence, then it is worth following the advice of the priest and, having received parting words, fulfill it. There is no need to come with one question or problem to many priests, hoping for a change in admonition.
There is no need to rush and call the first priest you meet your confessor. When visiting church, confess and ask the priest for advice about your pain. And then it is possible to meet a spiritual father close to you.
Communicating with parishioners, find out where to find your confessor, and which priest enjoys authority and respect from the flock.
You need to start reading with simple and understandable texts. Spiritual books will help you to correctly determine the goals and priorities in life.
Does a person need a spiritual mentor?
In any field of activity or in sports, a novice specialist, athlete or student always has a mentor. He helps to master the profession, shares experience, advice. The mentorship of a clergyman is aimed at achieving a student's strength of spirit, religious self-awareness and the fulfillment of divine commandments.
The relationship between a child and a confessor is not measured by the amount of time spent together. Sometimes a few sentences are enough to calm the soul and resolve issues. It is important to follow all the advice received from the confessor.
In worldly life, it is important for families following the laws of God to confess to one confessor. It happens that emerging internal family problems can be solved together.
It is desirable for a churched person to keep a record of his sins and then confess them to the confessor as often as possible. It is believed that salvation is in a multitude of councils. Therefore, it is useful for the soul to seek answers to questions from several priests. But it is better to open thoughts and sinful thoughts only to your spiritual father.
Some believers do not know that, when going to the shepherd, they need to read the prayer: “Lord! Give me mercy and inspire the spiritual father to give me an answer according to your will. To entrust oneself to a spiritual father is The best way to get on the path to recovery. The devil will not be able to intervene where everything secret and sinful has been revealed to the confessor. It is important to obey your leader, because through him you obey God.
spiritual teacher
A confessor is like a teacher who reveals the true meaning of many things and the truth to his wards. A teacher, a spiritual mentor must expand the inner potential of the individual, influence him, make the spiritual world of the pupil consonant with his own.
Mentoring is also the confessor's prayers for sending him wisdom in teaching his students. This is his appeal to God in insoluble situations, a request for support from the Heavenly Intercessor in moments of doubt and helplessness. The spiritual father is responsible before Jesus Christ for the children entrusted to him.
Human spirit guides
On our way, we come across a lot of people who call and consider themselves spiritual mentors. Often they have their own teachings, schools, or they call themselves followers of famous spiritual figures. Such mentors have students, like-minded people and admirers who support their views and beliefs.
In addition, each person has his own invisible spiritual helpers. These include angels who protect and protect throughout life. If you manage to learn to understand them, then life will become much easier and simpler. Coming into the world together with the born baby, the angels leave it after death.
A believer who strives to follow God's commandments with a clear conscience and thoughts, in the face of adversity. They only strengthen beliefs and perfect his soul. Going to his confessor, he realizes that he is asking for advice not from a person, but from the Lord, who through the priest gives the necessary advice and blesses. The parting words of the spiritual father, carried out strictly, will lead to help from God. For the purpose of man's existence on earth is to purify his heart and feel the closeness of God.
Who is a confessor? How not to make a mistake in choosing a spiritual mentor? On those difficult questions Bishop Panteleimon (Shatov) will answer you in this article.
Who is a confessor, a spiritual father? Is it better to look for a confessor from monks or from married clergy?
A confessor is usually called a priest, to whom they regularly go to confession (with whom they confess predominantly), with whom they consult in difficult life issues. The words of the confessor are taken as advice. That confessor who demands absolute obedience to himself, insists on the literal, strict, strict implementation of his advice, claims to be an elder - can do much harm; the confessor must be chosen, as it seems to me, meek and humble.
A spiritual father is a confessor who has long known the person who comes to him for confession, is well acquainted with him, and has testified his love for him by his attentive attitude towards the person. I usually do not make a distinction between a confessor and a spiritual father, it seems to me that these concepts are basically the same, but a spiritual father is perhaps the confessor who cares more about his spiritual children, devotes more time to them, whom the spiritual children are called spiritual father.
How to choose a confessor?
The attitude towards the confessor should still be cautious. In our time, there are cases when priests shy away from being confessors, either out of false humility, or out of unwillingness to engage in pastoral work, and there is another extreme, when a person imagines himself to be a good confessor, and he likes to manage spiritual life one’s own children – such confessors, of course, must be avoided. The confessor must be both kind and humble, but also exacting and strict.
The confessor can be from the monks, and 
from white clergy, it all depends on the person, and not on what class he belongs to. And in the world there are both very good priests and negligent ones, and in the monastery there are people who give completely wrong advice, impossible penances and bows for already confessed sins, but there are wonderful elders. It also happens that monastics who entered the monastery at a young age do not know well family life and sometimes they can make mistakes in their recommendations, not understanding all the subtleties of family problems.
It is better to confess only with your confessor, though there is such an extreme case when a person refuses, even in case of need (illness, long absence of a confessor), to confess to another priest.
There is a danger, especially for girls and women, of spiritual attachment to a confessor. Sometimes this leads to very serious consequences. Here it is necessary to distinguish spiritual attachment from spiritual connection with the confessor. How to distinguish emotional attachment? Its signs are: jealousy, envy of others (“the priest devotes more time to them, but less to me”), the desire for one kindness on the part of the confessor, resentment at his severity.
One should not allow spiritual attachment to the confessor, one must be very afraid of this. If there are any problems in the relationship with the confessor, you can approach the confessor of your confessor and try to resolve these issues with him.
